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Who would u marry?

Started by Jannah, January 18, 2007, 08:34:36 PM

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Jannah

Salam,

K here's a light hearted topic... these philosophical questions always come up amongst girls at 2 o' clock in the morning ;) we had a good time discussing this one in nyc this weekend... thought i'd ask u guys (esp if someone's married their thoughts would be interesting too):

Say you only had two choices: Would you marry someone who you loved and didn't love you or someone who loved you and you didn't love.... and why?

and btw we had a theory about brothers and sisters answers but i'll let u answer first...

Muslim


Jannah

[wlm]

lol.. it's not!!! either answer is right :p it's just about psychology our discussion was so heated.. i just wanna know what other ppl think ;)

M.F.

Assalamu alaikum
I don't know why anyone would put themselves in a situation where they weren't loved back.  It would just hurt too much!! 

Fozia

[slm]

Yeah spinsterhood for me too.
Unless I liked the guy who loved me. I can work with like.
However if I actively disliked the guy who loved me, no way could I end up being married to them.

As for marrying an unrequited love, no!


Wassalaam

Jannah

salam,

heloooooooooo there are only two options!!!

ws

:)

owais


Firstly Allaho alim , teh he.

I think one feels more secure when they are loved.
And Love spreads.  So even if One doesn't love the other, but the other loves them, I think the love would still spread somehow.

So for the secure case, I think I'd be loved rather than being the one who loves with no lover back.

Does that make sense? Typical that girls would get a heated debate out of this.

lastly, Allahoalim.


Siham

#7
As-Salaamu `alaykum,

Well as a lady I would probably go for a man who loves me (more) because the man is certainly the one who has to do a lot of things to impress you at first. (I think this is the best part of being a woman lol) So if he's really not into you, then its not gonna work out!

Besides, women do have tender hearts and therefore have the tendency of falling in love easily.

And Allah(SubHana Wa Ta`ala) knows best.

W'salaam
"You talk about loving God while you disobey Him; I swear by my life that this is something very strange. If you were truthful in your love, you would obey Him, for a lover obeys whom he loves." (Rabi`a al-Adawiyya)

JustOne

[slm]

My mom says that a marriage cannot survive on a woman's passion alone.  But a marriage CAN survive and blossom on a man's passion alone.  After years of disagreeing with her, and then seeing my friends get married, and then seeing some of my friends get divorced.....

I would choose option 2.

That said, I've totally become a believer in what brother hyper said in that other thread (I started it, and I can't even remember the name of the thread)...

I hate that dreaded "M" word.  Ugh.

Wasalaam.
"Thus let me live, unseen, unknown; thus unlamented let me die...and not a soul tell where I lie."

Humbling the vertical pronoun.

lala marcy

salaam,

I choose: someone that loves me!
What everyone here says is true! A husband that doesnt love you but you love them - (picture me waving my finger side to side)- not for me.


peace
what happend to the poll?

muhsen

I m married....But my comments are,
I would mary one who love me...


Would you hear The Reason ?

nuh

#11
[slm]

Quote from: Jannah on January 18, 2007, 08:34:36 PM

Say you only had two choices: Would you marry someone who you loved and didn't love you or someone who loved you and you didn't love.... and why?


I would marry someone who loved me and I didn't love.

Whoever works any act of righteousness and has faith, His endeavour will not be rejected: We shall record it in his favour. (21:94)[/color]

Marriage is a righteous institution, it is my belief that I have a strong capacity to 'grow love'.

I think that it is imperative to remember that one who quickly falls into love can just as quickly fall out of love.  Love is dynamic, it grows and dies by the actions of the couple. 

The parallel I have used for years is that love and marriage are like a garden.  If you don't care for it, water it, nurture it and let Allah's glorious sun shine upon it, weeds and starvation will choke it out and kill it.

And He it is Who has created man from the water, then He has made for him blood relationship and marriage relationship, and your Lord is powerful. (25.54 )[/color]

Wa salaama,

nuh
[beardbro]

Jannah

Walaikum salaam warahmatullah wabarakatuhu,

i took out the poll so ppl could put their WHYs... interesting almost overwhelming majority would rather have someone that loved them... guess it's our inherent need to be loved!  read a saying once...

to love is nothing,
to be loved is something,
to love and be loved is everything.
[flower4u]

Reem

salaamz,

I would definitely marry someone that loved me and not the other way around.  I agree with Siham, women are more a lot more flexible than we think. If I married someone that loved me, obviously he would treat me well and do everything to keep me happy and content. Who would not fall in love with that?

On the other hand, imagine having the person you love treat you like crap or just be completely apathetic towards you. Uhhhh.......no thanks

muhsen

#14
Actualy I was falling in love with some1, while i was married...
I have got, that your ( in this case my love) doesnt count for her,although she knew I love her.... And I got most sadd thinks from her..and affect my life and damaged it...
But I was suprized, hows some another one ask me do I like her too? that was weird.. I was thinking, how come she to this question.... ...

Laila_Y_A

      After being married, then years later engaged, to men who said they loved me but did not, I pick being loved by the man. If I respect him, he is kind in his actions toward me, I would probably fall in love with him soon enough.
ليلا

quote Mae West : "Anytime you take religion for a joke, the laugh's on you".

Lovin Niqaab

Quote from: JustOne on January 19, 2007, 07:24:22 AM
[slm]

My mom says that a marriage cannot survive on a woman's passion alone.  But a marriage CAN survive and blossom on a man's passion alone. 

Subhanallah, that is really a good piece of wisdom. Absolutely loved how your mother put it. Jazak Allahu Khair for it...  :)

caribbeansista

The love and fear of Allah swt makes u love and value  u're spouse ...............if the bro is an honest god fearing guy and he loves me then y not ,i bet i'll probably start liking him..........y marry  a guy who don't love you .I once had a proposal from a guy who wanted to marry another sista but his parents did'nt agree so they made him consider me. i was like No way bro go back the way u came cos i'm no back bencher and guess what he's married to the same gal and happy as ever .......Allahu aalum

owais

I think this proves the validity of Arranged Marriages, and removes the excuse of "I dont know him/her!"

Allahoalim

haajirah

Arranged....Or forced...T least get the girl to agree.My poor friend was ARRANGD to marry a great qari in my city...Didnt agree nw shes unhappy wt two kids.
Rabbana ma3ana

owais

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as having said: "A woman without a husband (or divorced or a widow) must not be married until she is consulted, and a virgin must not be married until her permission is sought. They asked the Prophet of Allah (may peace be upon him): How her (virgin's) consent can be solicited? He (the Holy Prophet) said: That she keeps silence.  (Translation of Sahih Muslim, The Book of Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 008, Number 3303)"
Source : http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/fundamentals/hadithsunnah/muslim/008.smt.html

Fozia

[slm]

That's unfair, Br Owais was talking about arranged marriages.

A forced marriage is a completely different kettle of fish.


Wassalaam

iowais

Okay Salam
Most of us have spoken our views in regard to Jannah's question. So, sister Jannah if it is okay for you I've been waiting for your answer.  ???
I was There...!

Siham

Jannah,

While you are at it-- can you also post the theory about brothers and sisters answers  ;)

Jazak Allah khayr!
"You talk about loving God while you disobey Him; I swear by my life that this is something very strange. If you were truthful in your love, you would obey Him, for a lover obeys whom he loves." (Rabi`a al-Adawiyya)

Jannah

wsalam,

well brother Iowais.. that's interestin' cuz i notice you didn't post an answer either!! :) (btw...weird we have an iowais and an owais can get a bit confusin...)

so well at first when we were discussing this basically we were talking about marriages and if there could truly be a balance where both people liked/loved/sacrificed for each other to the same extent because we noticed some marriages where one person ends up sacrificing a lot more (usually the sister) and then we thought about pre-marriage and noticed that usually someone likes someone, but that someone doesn't like them back, but likes someone else and since ppl are not perfect, couples end up settling with what they believe is important and that might/might not include love.

anyway our theory was that most sisters would say they would rather marry someone who loved them and that most brothers would say they would rather marry someone they loved.... but we guess that's wrong now because the overwhelming majority of people said they'd rather have someone who loved them (except for one person who said they'd rather love some1 but then later tried to deny it so i dunno). i think for women to be happy they do need someone that loves them and because that person who loves them would sacrifice/do things for them that the other one who didn't love them might not, and because the nature of women is such i think over time she would get attached to someone that loves her and would be happy with that. originally that was my answer.

but now after thinking about it for this long while i'm almost at the point where i think id rather marry someone i love... because then i'd be happy and could try to make that person happy...  so in the end i don't know... hopefully won't have to make that choice except in the hypothetical realm :)

ws

iowais

Salam`
About the name confusion; well I guess I was the first i-owais in this city. I first become citizen around late 2001. If I remember correctly the registration to the city was on hold after 9/11, and I had to wait for about 3months to become officially citizen of Madint Al Muslimeen, ....lol...I was very happy...lol  . Like everyone I love this city and very much a habitual visitor. I remember reading your post saying about...you'll be traveling out of the country and I believe the site was down for sometime....(I was not happy at all) But anyway I had to reregister  once more but this time no waiting time.....  so I am the first i-owais
I was There...!

Jannah

wsalam,

ahlan wa sahlan bro... yeah i remember that time too.. guess like all muslim communities ours suffered too a bit during these last 5 years post 9/11. i kinda think of pre 9/11 as the good ole' days. anyways alhamdulillah ala kulli haal and yes u still haven't answered...

muhsen

#27
I stand on my words..Like now...
I would mary them who loves me....
One who loves you, can forgive your faults, one who dont loves you, can ruin your life....

My wife loves me alot and i love her alot.... I wish that my wife enter inshaAllah to jannah, i wish for her, she will meet with hadrat Aisha r.a ...
me is lost....

After my sickness...She had so much patience with me, these days, as I was in trouble ...  She knew i loved some sister but my wife , she doesnt leave me. Because she loved me..That is true love...
Love is true when you leave somethink what you like and to your self for him/her..Love needs pain and suffer...

How will you make try some1 happy, even he/she doesnt love you... You can do all sort of thinks that will never work. If it is working, then is still love..







sugarqueen

In Life there are never just "two" options...there is ALWAYS the choice to remain single...i rather be a free bird to be able to come and go as i please then married to someone i just "liked" or married to someone who didnt love me back.

lala marcy

salaam,

Sing it sister sugarberry sing it....llikewise brother Muhsen...what better thing is there than to love and be loved...... Why settle.

InshaAllah all you guys will love and be loved in return.

:)

with love
peace....

Jannah

wsalam,

heyyy this isnt a "life option" it's obviously hypothetical and in this hypothetical environment there's only two choices... basically to illustrate some psychological points... sheesh i didn't realize the question would be so difficult.

a_Silver_Rose

but barely any brother have answered. mostly the sisters answered.

Medo

Aslaamu Alaikum Wr Wb,

Hey! It's me again, I'm no longer the Lion. I changed it because it didn't suit me. But to your question, a 'hypothetical' one... here it goes:

Answer: I would marry someone who loved me. You want to know the REASON WHY? Because how could you dislike a person who loves you? That would be with you throughout your entire life trying to cheer you up and make you laugh... if I met a girl like that... heck, I hit the jackpot.



Walakum Asalaam.  :)

Faizah

As salaamu alaikum.

Since I think this was designed to promote thought and conversation, I'll add my 20 cents (inflation boosted it from 2 cents).

In an ideal world I would probably prefer someone that loves me.

However, in the real world, neither option is a good one because it doesn't provide for balance which is a necessary element for happiness.  The one that loves will give their all for that person and do everything they can to make that person happy and the recipient may resist and then ultimately tolerate it but never truly love the other person.  Eventually, the recipient of the love starts to feel stiffled and smothered and will strive to do anything to avoid being around the other person.  This in turn may lead the person that loves to do even more and ultimately feel hurt and rejected and possibly even resentful. and eventually begin to shut down emotionally and never allow themselves to love again and perhaps never be loved either.  We sadly read too often about crimes of passion being committed and when examined one of the root causes of problems is this unbalanced love situation where the person that loved and was rejected reacts in a very negative way.

I find that  the word "love" is overused.  Ideally "love" should be in the context of Allah loves us; we love Allah and we love our parents and our children.  These both represent  unconditional love in that Allah loves us despite some of the oddball things we may do and we love Allah because He doesn't guide us in wrong ways.  We love our parents even if they sometimes make us batty and we love our children even if they don't always make us happy.  

Often people will say they "love" their cars, homes, jobs, particular food or color, city or country, fragrance, etc. and sometimes another person, but this type of love changes and is conditional on many factors.

If anything I believe there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with them.  The former, as I said is conditional and can change, whereas the former means that you would be willing to sacrifce all for that person without thought or regret, and when that person dies one feels as if a part of them died too and no amount of anything nor any other person can replace the one lost.

We read often of how much Rasoolullah (salallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) loved Khadijah (ra)  and it seems from all that has been described that his love for her ran very deep, that he was indeed in love with her and that even years after her death no one could fill the void felt.  Now that's love of the greatest magnitude.

As salaamu alaikum

Fa'izah


a_Silver_Rose

asalamualaikum

good point Sis Faizah..Another thing I wanted to say is that its easy to say what you would do ..but when you are actually in the situation where you are inlove with someone and at the same time someone else is in love with you, who would you really pick? When people are in love they dont use their minds. They cant think clearly, its like a disease. So I would think (although many of you have said that opposite) that if you were in love with someone at the time you would just want to marry them if you had a chance and if they do not reject then the person who loves you. Althought it may be smarter to do the contrary..and Allah (swt) knows best...

Fozia

[slm]

I definitely know I couldn't marry someone who did not love me back. It would kill me to love the person only to know it's not returned, I'd far rather be alone seriously.


Wassalaam

Jannah

wsalam,

ok for you ladies who said you'd rather stay single... first of all that's not a choice here  :P but secondly I seriously just don't believe you. i think if it was a real life choice and all other variables equal there is no way some girl would say 'oh if i can't have my perfect ideal i'll just never get married la di da' yeah rite... so again i just don't believe it ;)


Anonymous

ASalaamualaikum,

Hmm...I know this is all hypothetical and all, but how do you know if a person loves you
before marriage in order to make this decision? sometimes its obvious, and other times,
arranged or very business like up until the nikah?  And doesn't love come after marriage
;)

And just because someone loves you before marriage, it doesn't mean they will love you
after.  After marriage is a whole nother ballpark.  So as long as the people are good
sincere people, inshaallah the love will come afterwards, (of course not always true). 

Just one thing, when we say doesn't love, we don't mean hate, right?  The other person
likes, but doesn't love? 

Ok sorry, i know it was supposed to be hypothetical but there are just so many other
factors to consider :)

Ok, my answer?  I would chose the one who loved me, cause from personal experience I
eventually loved back :)

walakumasalaam,

a sister
This post submitted using the ANONYMOUS button on the main Madina menu. Please reply here publically so that they can read any replies.

lala marcy

Salam,

Jannah, love encompasses many things. So by saying one would rather be single then get married knowing full well it's a bad situation only to be miserable- heck yeah I'd say I 'd rather be single. I don't think anyone was talking about a perfect ideal though. Perfection doesn't exist. But don't get married just to get married- that's just plain dumb. To say you need the perfect looking spouse, with the perfect job, perfect family, perfect car and bank account, perfect toes..etc etc is just plain ignorant. :) But noone said that- but I'm just saying.

Anyhow, this discussion is getting circular.

Readagain

assalamwlaikum,

I would choose to marry the one I love because Its easier this way..atleast I love him..and hopefully he wont hate me...possibly like me...thats enough.. but i cant imagine living with someone that i didnt love and it doesnt matter if they loved me becuase marriage comes with a hell lot of sacrifices and how would u sacrifice if you didnt love the person?

just my two cents


p.s. Im married. (alhamdulillah)
On the authority of Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said : The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said :

    "Part of being a good Muslim is for him to leave alone that which does not concern him."

Asif

Assalam o Allaikum,
To love someone can be a selfish enterprise. The Question asked should be why does someone love someone? For posession of something desirable? For some fleeting pleasures of body or psyche, for some social needs?
To love needs a strong indentity of the self. One cannot love another, unless one considers oneself important enough to love. A selfish self is a dangerous element if not properly analyzed and checked.   Thus to love for the sake of oneself alone is faulty in terms of divine context of things and relations. I cannot be sure of myself and my choices on the basis of my opinions alone. I cannot trust myself or someone else entirely in this relationship of "love".
The question should be, why would we love someone? The two options take this basic question as a given assumption. so these are too restricted options to choose from.
Love as a relationship stands in the creative realm of Allah. I cannot give a judgement on the creation of Allah. I ask Allah to judge me and provide me the love He considers best for me. I trust Him completely in my Faith! If i cannot escape being selfish in love, i will choose to be selfish in demanding Allah for His best choice of love for me. I surrender my selfishness at His Royal judgement.
If the mirage of the desert doesnt deceive you, do not consider it a merit of your wisdom. This lack of deception was nothing but a lack of thirst on your part!

Anonymous

Well who am I to say who will I marry? Once I loved someone but his parents had
already chosen a girl for him. Then someone loved me but my parents did not accept him
for a certain reason. So I thought it was important to point out through my experience that
it is not always our choice who we would marry

asalamualaikum,

a sister
This post submitted using the ANONYMOUS button on the main Madina menu. Please reply here publically so that they can read any replies.

Fozia

[slm]

I think this is hypothetical, forgetting all other factors that occur in reality, which one of the two would one do???


Wassalaam

sugarqueen

Quote from: lala marcy on January 30, 2007, 05:02:52 PM
Salam,

Jannah, love encompasses many things. So by saying one would rather be single then get married knowing full well it's a bad situation only to be miserable- heck yeah I'd say I 'd rather be single. I don't think anyone was talking about a perfect ideal though. Perfection doesn't exist. But don't get married just to get married- that's just plain dumb. To say you need the perfect looking spouse, with the perfect job, perfect family, perfect car and bank account, perfect toes..etc etc is just plain ignorant. :) But noone said that- but I'm just saying.

Anyhow, this discussion is getting circular.

and thus the truth has been spoken!  :)

Jannah

salam,

wow peeps let's keep real life out of this... really NO need to go down that slippery slope...

QuoteSince I think this was designed to promote thought and conversation,

QuoteI think this is hypothetical, forgetting all other factors that occur in reality, which one of the two would one do???


thank you!!!

theZman

Quote from: Jannah on January 18, 2007, 08:34:36 PM
Salam,

K here's a light hearted topic... these philosophical questions always come up amongst girls at 2 o' clock in the morning ;) we had a good time discussing this one in nyc this weekend... thought i'd ask u guys (esp if someone's married their thoughts would be interesting too):

Say you only had two choices: Would you marry someone who you loved and didn't love you or someone who loved you and you didn't love.... and why?

and btw we had a theory about brothers and sisters answers but i'll let u answer first...

Salam Alaikum,

I choose door number 2.

I can't handle marrying anyone who didn't love me, and I wouldn't impose myself on anyone that way.

The 2nd option resembles my character (I'm a very loving person). I can learn to love my wife with time. As long as there is some kind of chemistry/attraction, no matter how minute, Insha Allah, everything will turn out alright.

Siham

#46
Hmmm interesting....that (almost) none of the married brothers have actually responded to this thread....I guess that answers the question  ;)
"You talk about loving God while you disobey Him; I swear by my life that this is something very strange. If you were truthful in your love, you would obey Him, for a lover obeys whom he loves." (Rabi`a al-Adawiyya)

siddiqui

[slm]

[q] Hmmm interesting....that (almost) none of the married brothers have actually responded to this thread....I guess that answers the question  [/q]

Obviously Sr Siham :) , All the married brothers are happily married and most (if not all of us) are monogamous  ;) , so why would we talk about getting married/ or who would we marry ?

Love has many claims to fame, at least in  an Islamic setting it is truly tested  only after marriage. When the times are rough(for one or both partners ) their  relationship  with  Allah swt and their behavior, care , concern, for/towards  each other is in my opinion the true test of love.

I remember years ago Sr Nur ( of the Layl/night fame ) posting a an incident. During those days she was a full time student with a very hectic schedule and was close to delivering the baby, she came home one day real tiered to find her husband vacuuming and tiding the  house ( after he made dinner ,... I think) so that she didn't have to do it.  I think I remember her saying this getsure of kindness/love meant more to her than a bunch of roses/box of chocolates/ romantic candle lit eve.

I think this is what love is , the rest is varying degrees of infatuation . I have been through many (conscious/subconscious/unconscious ) phases of infatuation. Alhamdullilah in my wife I found true love.

Again in respose to Sr Siham's question who would I marry ( a future tense) ? Absolutely no one :P

[wlm]

owais


Siham

Quotewow peeps let's keep real life out of this... really NO need to go down that slippery slope...

QuoteSince I think this was designed to promote thought and conversation,

QuoteI think this is hypothetical, forgetting all other factors that occur in reality, which one of the two would one do???

I wonder how difficult it is to grasp this simple concept...  :D

"You talk about loving God while you disobey Him; I swear by my life that this is something very strange. If you were truthful in your love, you would obey Him, for a lover obeys whom he loves." (Rabi`a al-Adawiyya)

siddiqui

Quote from: Siham on February 06, 2007, 07:12:29 PM
Quotewow peeps let's keep real life out of this... really NO need to go down that slippery slope...

QuoteSince I think this was designed to promote thought and conversation,

QuoteI think this is hypothetical, forgetting all other factors that occur in reality, which one of the two would one do???

I wonder how difficult it is to grasp this simple concept...  :D




Oh Sr didn't you know men in general are



Men are thick skulled , dumbwitted and cant follow rules :)

Oh well such is life hypothetical for some and reality for the rest :)

Reminds of a quote by Sr Se7en I think
"The person one loves, never really exists, but is a projection focused on whatever person fits with least distortion"
                     
wassalaam


Siham

#51
No worries bro you are not the only person whos having a hard time of following this simple rule...  ;)

Its OK!  I guess its a touchy topic for some... :)


"You talk about loving God while you disobey Him; I swear by my life that this is something very strange. If you were truthful in your love, you would obey Him, for a lover obeys whom he loves." (Rabi`a al-Adawiyya)

Siham

#52
The Power of Love Leaves Lust in the Dust

Lucy Brown smiles at the recollection. Yes, she acknowledges, she is what she studied.

Dr Brown, a scientist at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, was part of a team that released the results of a small study showing that love is really more than an emotion.

"It's a motivation, more like hunger or thirst. The other person is a goal," she said.

And she well remembers the compelling drive to score that goal when she met her husband 30 years ago. "Totally," she says softly. He died a few months ago.

"I'd be standing in the lab, staining brain sections, and I'd be thinking: Where was he? What had he read that morning? What might he like? I wanted to show him the work I was doing."

Love, as shown in scans of the brain that she and her co-authors conducted, was more than lust and sex.



It is a desire for an emotional union, an attachment. Lust can be satisfying in the short-term, but romantic love, she said, is consuming and long-term. And all this was shown through the studies she and her colleagues did using the brains of 17 young men and women who each described themselves as "being newly and madly in love".

Different parts of the brain were activated, so researchers could see it in MRI scans.

"Love activates a region of the brain rich in dopamine," she explained, a chemical in the brain associated with rewards.

But when love goes wrong, watch out. "Depression can set in," she said, and can even lead to violence and stalking.

The practical application for her studies, she said, is that it may help psychologists select appropriate antidepressants in people who are pathologically depressed following the end of a love relationship.

"Studies have helped us understand that love is an all-consuming state and a very powerful unconscious system, not necessarily cognitive. This is an important system for survival (of the human race)." One of her co-authors, Helen Fisher, a research anthropologist at Rutgers University in New Jersey, said this helps explain why studies indicate that about 40 per cent of people who are rejected in love end up with clinical depression.

The findings first appeared in 2005 in the Journal of Neurophysiology.

Arthur Aron, of the State University of New York, another of Dr Brown's colleagues, said of the findings: "To emotion researchers like me, this is pretty exciting because it's the first physiological data to confirm a connection between romantic love and motivation networks in the brain."

Scientists even theorise that, for those who become depressed after losing love, these findings may actually result in certain drugs — called SSRIs — being prescribed initially. And then, "for someone to leave themselves open to falling in love", again, patients could be switched to an antidepressant that Dr Brown says enhances dopamine, the chemical associated with rewards and goals.

"This hasn't been medically tested," she cautioned, "but it's talked about, anecdotally."

Added Dr Fisher: "Our results support what people have always assumed — that romantic love is one of the most powerful of all human experiences. It is definitely more powerful than the sex drive."
"You talk about loving God while you disobey Him; I swear by my life that this is something very strange. If you were truthful in your love, you would obey Him, for a lover obeys whom he loves." (Rabi`a al-Adawiyya)

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