Pages: [1] 
|
 |
|
Author
|
Topic: Retreat Reflections 2007 (Read 1333 times)
|
Jannah
Administrator
Madina Mujahid
 Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 2685
Innallaha ma3a Sabireen
|
* Retreat Reflections Photo Album *
For seven years I have been coming to this rock. Sometimes in the dead of winter, when the trees are bare and there are feet of snow outside and it is freezing cold, I think of myself here. Sitting on this rock as I am now with the green dappling leaves from the trees giving me shade. The sun sparkling on the water as far as the mountains. The mountains shades of pine, blues and grey. The clouds light and puffy, sometimes coming near, sometimes going far.
I am happy here. Why is it that only in this place, on this rock I am content with my life. Yet all through the year all I feel are anxieties and heartache. I am indeed a sinner, but thankful that this tiny slice, this tiny glimpse of peace is shown to me once a year.
There are seven years of memories here. I still remember the first time we came to this retreat site. It was un-chartered, unexplored. We walked down towards the Lakehouse and caught our breath as we saw water rising in front of it and thought it was the most magical place.
My memories are bittersweet. Some are happy memories of laughing on the canoes and making dhikr in tune to our rowing. Our ‘year of mujahadah’, which looking back on now is quite amusing. All the wonderful classes and revelations and the most beautiful group of Muslims gathered from such various far away places. Then there are the painful memories of understanding the import of our sins and feeling the anguish of our tawbah. I miss my old friends too, the fellow brothers and sisters who had started this journey with me seven years ago. Some have lagged behind the caravan and some have gone far ahead of us.
*****
This yearly spiritual retreat in the Adirondack Mountains is organized by the Shaikh and his students and held at a Christian camp/retreat site. As the legend goes, the Shaikh decided to go to a ‘Save the Adirondacks’ meeting in Albany one day and there he met Kent. Kent looks like a typical outdoorsy, surfer guy… blonde, blue eyes and long hair. They began to talk and the Shaikh found out that Kent runs a Christian camping center and since he had been looking for just such a thing they became fast friends!
The first year we came to this retreat site, we were about twenty people and we only stayed in the lodge with two or less! people per room. We had class for about two hours in the afternoon and all the rest of the time was ours to do whatever we wanted. The sisters would get together and go swimming in the evenings. Our kitchen lady ‘Margaret,’ would make us special meals and desserts. We were the first to explore the campsite and everything was a new discovery. We canoed in our lake on whichever days had good weather and held our classes on couches in the Lakehouse with the windows open so we could hear the waves against the rocks. Kent invited us to a barbeque with his camp counselors where they sang some songs for us. We used to clean the tables and kitchen after every meal until the “Ottawan brother’s clean-up crew” volunteered to take over for us. A sister, just out of camp kindness, would take our clothes, wash them for us, fold them and put everyone’s clean clothes in their room. Ahhh… those were the good old days!
Nowadays we spend months beforehand in preparation for the retreat. Updating the website, setting up registration, vetting applications, collecting deposits and answering questions. As the retreat dates comes closer there’s more and more work. Every retreat staff’s complaint is that they spend the majority of their time organizing and very little being a participant. On top of that is the constant feeling that something is wrong with us because we don’t feel the same things or reach the same spiritual levels as the others.
After seven years of organizing, things are somewhat easier, but the retreat is still a huge undertaking.
Alhamdulillah, this year we had over seventy registrants from all over the US and Canada. Ma’shaAllah they were all very dedicated, good people. There are the usual college MSA kids, some aunties, some young couples, a doctor and his wife who come every year, Canadians who love to cross the border, locals who came up for the weekend and so on.
Every retreat year has its own flavor with different people, events, and tone. This year’s retreat was 10 days, which started with 7 straight days of classes: 3 hours in the afternoon, an hour and a half after Asr, two hours after Maghrib and the majority stayed awake after Fajr until Shuruq. The tiny pieces of free time we had were spent for the staff: taking care of registration, money or other things, or for the participants: writing summaries and revising notes. The last three days were spent in outdoor events such as canoeing and hiking.
*****
This year we went to two new places. One was a very long hike to three successive waterfalls called Hope Falls. This was about a 4 mile hike one way. It was long, but seeing the waterfalls made it worth it. We also saw a baby bear climb a tree not far from us!
The second place was canoeing down Kunjamuk River, a beautiful curvy canal/creek like expedition which was absolutely stunning. We passed four beaver dams as our challenges where we had to stop and get out of our canoes in order to get them over or in some places even carry our canoes around to the other side. This definitely left a newfound respect for beavers in us!
After we made it past all of them we stopped at a little area offshore in a forest to pray and eat lunch. The skies darkened and thunder crackled above us. The sheikh came over from the woods to tell us not to be scared and related a hadith that says that during a storm, the thunder is in dhikr and the angels are in fear of Allah swt. We sat and watched the rain on the river while the tall, stately pines of the forest protected us. The rain drops hit the water in the river and created bubbles on the surface called habb al-maa. This habb we learned in class is related to the Mahabbah (love) of Allah. If one’s love is sincere it will always rise to the surface like the bubbles on water and become apparent. One simply cannot hide their true love.
After our lunch and khalwa time, we headed back through the river in the light rain. My canoeing partner and I went first and it felt like we were the first explorers to come to this place. We soon canoed right onto a beautiful little lake surrounded by mountains. It had stopped raining and there was mist and fog all around us. Long grass, bamboo and water lilies surrounded the edges. The sun was setting in the distance in a show of yellows, reds and pinks. It was like a virtual scene out of some fantasy reality. We set our paddles up and just sat floating, staring at the absolute beauty around us. We heard the birds calling each other, and the frogs singing. We watched the water begin to turn pink from the sunset. We must have stayed there for half an hour or more. No one wanted to leave. It was truly one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve ever had at the retreat and a highlight for this year.
The last day of the retreat this year, we went hiking to Augur Falls, which is an old favorite for everyone. It’s a rather large creek that starts out gently tumbling over rocks until it turns into raging rapids and at one point makes a sharp 90-degree turn. Some huge rocks overlook this turn and this is where we sat eating our lunches, contemplating and doing dhikr. After a while I decided to take off my socks and shoes and put my feet in the water.
The water from the waterfall was warm and felt so nice as it rushed past my feet. I just sat there for a long time with the water going over my feet, wondering where all this water came from, gallons and gallons every second all the way down, turning and continuing somewhere else. The water was crystal clear. It felt so refreshing and clean. I had this incredible urge to just jump into the middle of the Falls and sit there in the water, letting it rush over me and cleanse me completely of all my sins, all my memories, all my faults, all my envy, all my hate, all my mistakes. I could just sit there for hours until I was so completely clean and pure. How clean would I be then compared to just making wudu with the water. It came to me that that water rushing over a person continuously is like someone in continuous tawbah and a person who just uses the water to make wudu is like one who has made istighfar once. The difference is clearer to me now and I realize the need for being in tawbah all the time.
I am sad to be back home again, but am hopeful that the retreat memories from this year can inshaAllah carry me to the next.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Jannah
Administrator
Madina Mujahid
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 2685
Innallaha ma3a Sabireen
|
ps,
here's a pic of the BEAR we saw this year right behind the lodge!!
|
 bear.jpg (43.6 KB, 604x453 - viewed 466 times.)
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Muslim
Guest
|
[bismillah]
Here's my account albeit not as eloquent as Jannah's 
Well now that Jannah has given the view of a person who has been there multiple times, Let me give you the view of a dude where it's his first time, and from the brothers point of vew.
Let me start off by saying that the place is PERFECT for a retreat. Some parts are pure wilderness while other parts are very modernish. You might as well call the lodge a hotel, and when you wander outside, you are greeted by dirt roads and a jungle full of Mosquitoes.
The Administration and organizers of the retreat are extremely polite and welcoming. I met a lot of people over there including Sr. Jannah and a few people from the board. I was surprised at how much free time we got (having been given to understand that it was going to be intense) not that I'm complaining hehe...
Let me describe a local trail (one that is rarely frequented because of the multitudes of mosquitoes which I found out the hard way). Some parts are overgrown, but it was still a pretty clear trail. Blue squares of wood (or is it plastic) hammered against a tree, showed us the way. There are literally hundreds of thirsty mosquitoes swarming the dense jungle like trail. I went there with two brothers (this was their first time at the retreat too) who weren't in the best of spirits at the thought of going for a long trek. Well to put the long story short, we ended up doing a detour after I took a wrong turn and arrived (much to my trek parners annoyance) back to the start of the trail! Of course at this point I burst out laughing in my usual sympathetic way and while one joined in the laughter the other refused to be mollified.
Now to describe the scenic place of beauty that the retreat is renowned for (Thanks Jannah for the Pic)... We have class in a big cabin (cleverly made to look like it was made out of logs) which has a little patio full of reclining wooden chairs and a swing bench. Right next to the cabin there's a huge vast expansive lake or maybe river, the ends of which cannot be seen. On the other side of the river are mountainous breathtaking regions much resembling the mountains of Silicon Valley in California from where I originate. We typically have two breaks about 10 minutes where all the students sit on the rocks that separate the land from the lake. Some sit and think deep thoughts, while others have a dreamy look in their eyes and go into a contemplative trance-like state and yet others stand around and stretch and breathe the deep cool air while feeding the mosquitoes. Once a student even rushed outside to collar the comfortable swing bench before anyone else could get there.
The days (unfortunately) really passed by like they always tend to do when you are enjoying yourself. The meals were excellent and the food was ample. Sh. Mokhtar wanted to keep the meal simple but the kitchen staff were (fortunately?) not able to grasp the idea of simplicity and kept on making meals fit for kings.
Rooms were shared. Some rooms had as much as 5 people residing in them. The folks in my room were relatively quiet and at times there was pin drop silence. The basement of the lodge was converted temporarily into a makeshift Masjid with a room next to it full of sofas and chairs. I don't think anyone missed a prayer in the 'Masjid' during the whole of the retreat. Everyday for Fajr, students were given an opportunity to give the adhan for fajr. There was two adhans everyday. I'd have given the adhan but I was not confident enough in my ability to wake up on time.
I missed all the hiking trips and canoing trips as well as the bear sighting as I had to leave early before that. It would be unfair to say that I had a terrible time because of that...
Alhamdulillah
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Shahida
Madina Siddique
Offline
Posts: 247
I heart Madina
|
[slm]
Every year I look forward to reading about the retreat, knowing that I will probably never be able to be there in person! Jazaki Allahu khairun for sharing 
Love this: "...We sat and watched the rain on the river while the tall, stately pines of the forest protected us. The rain drops hit the water in the river and created bubbles on the surface called habb al-maa. This habb we learned in class is related to the Mahabbah (love) of Allah. If one’s love is sincere it will always rise to the surface like the bubbles on water and become apparent. One simply cannot hide their true love."
MashaAllah
Salam
S.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
mujahada
Newbie
Offline
Posts: 13
Madina 4eva
|
[slm]
"There are the usual college MSA kids, some aunties, some young couples, a doctor and his wife who come every year, Canadians who love to cross the border, locals who came up for the weekend and so on."
Jazaakum Allaahu Khayraa to the very very hardworking retreat staff.. especially the retreat staff veterans *cough*Jannah*cough*
Wassalam,
m
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
farheen4284
Newbie
Offline
Posts: 2
madinatun nabi
|
Reflection 1—My Puzzle
As-salaam-alai-kum. Here is a synopsis of my first reflection and the poem is below. Please share all of your summaries and reflections as well. I loved all of them and would like to read them again. I wrote this poem in about two hours and I know it has grammatical errors, etc. so I apologize for that in advance. Whenever I looked at myself in the mirror, I never knew who was looking back at me. “Who am I?” was the question that always bothered me. After coming to this retreat, I realized a few things. In this world, there is good and evil. There are signs of good everywhere as well as signs of evil. It’s as if there are two puzzles: one of heaven and the other of hell. The final images are shown to us in the Quran. Now it is up to us to decide which image we want. By pieces of the puzzles, I mean to say that there are pieces of good and evil everywhere and you have to know what to take from this duniya and to simply put what you don’t need back i.e. take the good pieces of puzzle (the ones where you can see the signs and reflect) and leave the superficial pieces which are just there for distraction. During this retreat, I looked at everything around me from a different perspective, especially nature. “He Who created the seven heavens one above another: No want of proportion wilt thou see in the Creation of ((Allah)) Most Gracious. So turn thy vision again: seest thou any flaw? Again turn thy vision a second time: (thy) vision will come back to thee dull and discomfited, in a state worn out.”—Surah Mulk, ayahs 3 and 4. Allah (swt)’s creation is flawless and every time I looked around me, I was in awe. There was a time in my life when I used to open the Quran to the same verse. At first I thought it was a coincidence, and then I realized that Allah(swt) is telling me something so I read between the lines. “Know ye (all), that the life of this world is but play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting and multiplying, (in rivalry) among yourselves, riches and children. Here is a similitude: How rain and the growth which it brings forth, delight (the hearts of) the tillers; soon it withers; thou wilt see it grow yellow; then it becomes dry and crumbles away. But in the Hereafter is a Penalty severe (for the devotees of wrong). And Forgiveness from Allah and (His) Good Pleasure (for the devotees of Allah.. And what is the life of this world, but goods and chattels of deception?”—Surah Al-Hadid, ayah 20. THE LIFE OF THIS WORLD IS A DECEIVING ENJOYMENT. Just that part of the verse pretty much sums up everything. I was outside by the lake during our seven minute break and I tripped over the root of a tree. While looking around I found a piece of bark, twig, and a pine cone. I like to collect things that may not seem important to some, but to me, the little things hold deep meanings. So while looking at what I had, I related the contents to the lecture that day. Tazkiyah (purification) is needed first. Then you need afaal (acts/works), followed by akhlaaq (inner image), and finally tawheed (confirmation of the oneness of God). However, you need some tawheed to attain a higher level of tawheed. So in that sense, tawheed is not only the fruit, but it is also the seed. You initially need a seed first which then grows roots (tazkiyah), then a trunk/bark (afaal), twig (akhlaaq) and finally you get the fruit (tawheed). There are many levels of tawheed, and our goal should be to attain the highest level so in that sense I incorporated the idea that you need the seed (tawheed) to plant many trees which will give you more fruit (higher level of tawheed) and the process goes on. I used the pieces of my puzzle: the root, the bark, the twig, and the pine cone—which seem to be such ordinary things we find lying on the ground, to reflect on what I had learned and to look beyond the superficial. Knowledge and insight should change a person for the better. If I’m indifferent to what I have learned, then there is no bigger loser out there than myself. I ended the poem with, “Where will I go from here?” I honestly don’t know myself because I have so much to work on. Like everyone else, I’m in a constant struggle. The retreat experience was amazing and I was in a perfect environment. I felt like I was suddenly given eyesight after almost losing it and it would be foolish of me to prefer to want to go blind after vision has been given to me. My du’a is that all of us who were at this retreat, insha’Allah will become better Muslims and will find the right pieces of our own puzzles so we can meet again soon and if not in this duniya, then in Jannah insha’Allah. Jazakallah khair.
Farheen F. Parvez
My Puzzle
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Is who I see prepared for the call?
Who am I? I often wonder.
Is there really a Muslim behind the skin and under?
What is the purpose of this life of mine?
Is it just to sleep, work, and dine?
As a Muslim I was born
But when I die, will the Earth for me mourn?
Like a puzzle my life seems
Will I find the right pieces? And by what means?
Puzzles exist of two kinds
Which final image in the end will I find?
On the surface the pieces of one image are found
The pieces of the other image, however, are deeply bound.
I always feel like I’m not looking in the right place.
I worry about not making it to first base.
The Quran tells me which images each will reveal
Oh Allah! I implore You for Your guidance and to You I kneel.
You showed me the images of heaven and hell
The difference between the two puzzle pieces how will I be able to tell?
You ask me to look at the signs in Your creation and to reflect
Oh Allah, Your creation is flawless, it is beyond perfect.
But Allah, my faith is not like that of Your Rasool.
I don’t want to live for the duniya like a fool.
“The life of this world is a deceiving enjoyment,” is the verse I read several times
Then I decided to read between the lines.
This world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting, You say.
It is like the vegetation after the rain, PLEASING, but which eventually dries up and turns into hay.
You put me in this world as a test
Oh Allah! Guide me among Your servants who are the best.
I don’t want to be one of those who say, “I believe in You”
Only to be turned away because my heart wasn’t true.
By merely saying, “I am a Muslim,” I don’t want to give myself false hope.
I want nothing more but to hold on to Your rope.
Noorun-ala-Noor. Light upon light.
Oh Allah! Bless me with internal sight.
Heaven as the final image of my puzzle I want.
The image of hell never fails to haunt.
Spending time in the woods today,
I found a few good puzzle pieces I must say.
While walking, I tripped over the root of a tree.
Next to it, was a piece of bark, lying free.
In my pocket I put the bark
A few steps later, I found a twig, brown and dark
Next to the twig something on the ground shone,
I kneeled and discovered it was a beautiful pine cone.
Walking back I thought of the contents in my pocket.
And realized they were like the keys to a hidden locket.
The root, the bark, the twig, and the pine cone are each a treasure.
Within them, there are signs and meanings I cannot measure.
Metaphorically, tazkiyah is the root, afaal is the bark, akhlaaq is the twig, and tawheed is the fruit.
Without tazkiyah, the root
There will not be tawheed, the fruit.
To have a beautiful forest, many trees we will need.
To get a tree, from the fruit is required the seed.
Tawheed is not just the fruit, but it is also the seed.
It is the seed required for every righteous deed.
Oh Allah, the signs in Your creation to me You have given
I pray my puzzle’s image will be that of heaven.
Ibaadah and reflection made the purpose of my existence very clear.
The question, however, is: “Where will I go from here…?”
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
farheen4284
Newbie
Offline
Posts: 2
madinatun nabi
|
Reflection 2—The Power of Du’a
As-salaam-alai-kum. I must say I had numerous reflections throughout this retreat Alhumdullilah. I shared one earlier and thought perhaps I should share this one too. This reflection has to do with the whole retreat experience in general but also specifically the hiking experience. I forgot how difficult and long the hike was once I saw the falls. I noticed the water was constantly running, not even stopping for a second. I sat by the water for a while and then decided to drink some of it. The water was very pure. While I was drinking the water, I noticed something glistening in a tiny pot hole right below from where I was drinking. I put my hand in the pot hole and discovered that it was a shiny stone. There were many other stones in the pot hole and I began to take them out and observe them. I noticed that each stone was unique and that no two stones were alike. I recalled getting an email a while ago that contained pictures of Allah’s creation with “Allah” or “La ilaha illallah” on them and wished to see something like that too. Anything is possible for Allah (swt) and I had no doubt about that at all. People think I’m really weird for doing this but even before I came to this retreat, I prayed everyday to see a bear. Who would pray for something like that, huh? Well, to me, it was important to see a bear in its natural habitat and I really wanted to see one while I was at the retreat. The lady at this camp even told us that the bears are far in the woods and we won’t find them near the camp. I was hoping to see them when we went hiking but was told that we were going to hike elsewhere, not at the camping site. So I said, “Allah, if I don’t see Teddy, can You please make Teddy come see me?” My eyes searched for a bear everyday as I walked to the cabin and back. But the day he came, I wasn’t able to see him. Almost everyone saw him, except me and a few others. I realized that sometimes when you really want something and you don’t get it, it’s a test. So I remained patient and continued to pray to see him. Actually, I wanted to give him a hug too but I don’t think that’s a good idea. Sure enough, that same evening, Teddy came back! I think he may have even waved at me. My nafs told me to run out barefoot and to get a closer look at the bear, but my heart told me to relax, be thankful to Allah (swt) for showing me the bear, and to just watch from the window. It’s hard for me to tell you all this because I know by now I have totally embarrassed myself. I’m just being honest about my feelings. Anyways, back to what I was saying about the stones in the fall. So I really wanted to see something, anything, with Allah’s name on it. I prayed that Allah (swt) show me a sign with His name on it just as He showed me the bear. Lo and behold, the next stone I picked up said, “Allah” on it in Arabic. Subhanallah! The power of du’a is beyond amazing! I thanked Allah for giving me the stone and realized that when I LOOK at the stone, “Allah” is not visible, but when I SEE it, it is very clear. I observed a few other stones and they all seemed to have “Allah” on them in their own unique patterns although not as clear as this stone. I realized then that a stone with “Allah” on it is not necessarily the only sign, but that everything in Allah’s creation is a sign within itself. This whole time I was always too busy hearing and not listening, looking and not seeing. I know for a fact that if I had seen the stone any other time, it would just be a stone with some weird designs. But that same stone at the bottom of a pot hole, deep within the woods, under the running water, made me realize that I was looking through a foggy lens all along and never bothered to clean it. I thought I was seeing but there was so much I was missing out on. And when I began cleaning my lens with the help of Allah (swt), Allah’s name on the stone was no longer a weird design. Instead, it was a clear sign. My point is to stop looking and start seeing and to never, NEVER underestimate the power of du’a. Be sincere and be content and Allah (swt) will continue to overwhelm you with blessings. Sometimes our du’a may not come true, but just be patient and know that Allah (swt) knows you better than you know yourself and He always wants what is best for you, though at the time you may not think there is something better for you. Sheikh Mokhtar had read this reflection on the last night of our retreat and many of you had seen the stone. I had asked to get it back and while I was waiting to get it back, I realized that the purpose of the stone was fulfilled. I didn’t need to have it to know that it has “Allah” on it because everything has Allah on it, not just this stone. After Isha, Sheikh Mokhtar was holding the stone and showing it to others and he told me that I am very blessed to be able to see “Allah” and realize that Allah is in everything. I gave the stone to him and insha’Allah it is better off with him than with me. My only request to you, the reader, is that you remember me in your du’a and pray that we all continue to be blessed with internal sight that will make us better Muslims insha’Allah. It was an honor to be in your company and insha’Allah I will make du’a for you all. Again, I would love to read your summaries and reflections. Please share them. Keep in touch and may Allah (swt) continue to guide you on the right path. Jazakallah khair.
Farheen F. Parvez
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Pages: [1] 
|
|
|
|
|
