Main Menu

Ramadan Diaries 1428/2007 !! Post your diaries here!

Started by Jannah, September 09, 2007, 07:44:04 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Jannah

Assalaam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu,



Please post your diaries in this thread.

(You can sign up in the sign-up thread and write comments in the comments thread.)

Remember we would love to hear about your community and how you all practice Ramadan in general and your reflections!!

You can read last year's diaries and see how other people wrote them to get some examples if you are not sure what to write!!:)

Thanks for signing up and can't wait to read your thoughts!!

Baji

#1
 [slm]
[alh] it is here finally the month of blessings and forgiveness. 

Lots of Firsts this year which is why I wanted to be the first to post my Ramadan diary.

1st Ramadan in my new house
1st Ramadan in my new work place
1st Ramadan when I have a masjid 5 minutes walk from home.
And last but not least....
1st anniversary of my hubby coming to the UK

This year I can't rely on my mother waking me up for suhoor, I set 2 alarms just to make sure we woke up. Slept through the first got up for second Alhamdulillah. Actually felt like I did when I was a child last night couldn't sleep as I knew Ramadan was starting was too excited.

It has to be my favourite time of year, inshaAllah some sisters will come to the masjid for tarawih usually when I go for isha with hubby I am the only one there.

Called my mother after eating, who said she was just about to phone to make sure we had eaten.. gave her a detailed description of what we had think she was happy  ;) she worries that we are eating properly and looking after ourselves I think.

I used to work pretty much on my own, this year I am in an open plan office with about 25 other people, its good as all know it is Ramadan and ask lots of questions so good chance to let them know all about it and the teachings behind our fasting.

My aims for the month inshaAllah to finish Qur'an at least once,  to go for tarawih all the nights I possibly can and to inshaAllah memorise a new Surah.

*coughandnottoletcrickettwenty20takeuptoomuchtime*  ;D

Well that's it for now I know I haven't done the whole day but this is how my Ramadan began.

Hope and pray that we are all able to obtain the maximum blessings during this blessed month inshaAllah

Salaams
Baji

maryam

#2
 [slm] oh!the blessed month is here again alhamdullilah we lived to see it, and may Allah let us be here till the end of it.                 so, here in Nigeria we started on 12 like every other place, I went to bed knowing that as long as the next day was ramadan my mum wud wake me for sahoor,that wud be after my dad wud told her, "announcement has been made,and ramadan starts tomorrow". During ramadan every thing seems different,especially the sound of Quranic recitation, it seems to come to you with a different sound and meaning, every thing is serene and you feel a stronger connection with other muslims.    on previous ramadan months, when it is about the time to break I would stroll to buy fruits from a friut seller by the road not so far from our house , although I have not gone for fruits from him yet this ramadan I mentioned it because I used to look forward to going out  in the evening for that very porpose of buying fruits for breaking my fast.                                                                                                                                                                                                           Ramadan is a blessed month, a month for reflections, a month to get closer to Allah, a month to look forward to and to decide on which acts of worship one would perform, a month to use as an opportunity to do away with some of our excesses so that after ramadan we wud be better than we were before ramadan, a month to seek Allah's mercies and answers to our prayers, a month to seek forgiveness. WOW the blessings of this month is really much. ;)                                                                                                    Ramadan in a way makes you more aware of the pains of the poor, it makes you humble, for me actually I cud say it makes me quiet.  [alh] the blessed month is here again and we are alive to see it, may Allah grant us the blessings that come with this month, AMEEN.

BowofHaq

#3
Well, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to write this on the 4th or the beginning of the 5th about the 4th, but here goes.

We begun our day as we always do in Ramadan. The Sohoor Wars and then Fajr. Well, the Sohoor Wars actually ended a long time ago. We have a very civilised Sohoor now lol, however there was a time... Ramandan has been great so far as expected from the holy month. It's nice to suddenly be able to give up all worldly matters and just sit back and read more Quran and Hadith throughout the day in no fear of what the wordly demands are. It's also been a lot cooler since Ramandan started, which we've noticed always happens during Ramandan, regardless of what time of year it comes.

Another aspect of Ramadan is not just one's introspective abilities being heightened, but also other people. I instantly notice how some others are able to help and give freely and ungrudgingly, which is always beautiful to witness.

Day 4 of Ramadan passed as all the days have passed in Ramadan, very well and at the end of the day. My sister made a HUGE fruit salad for Iftar, which was delicious. Of-course we break our fast quickly and then pray, but we find that breaking fast on fruits and dates makes the last 10 days of Ramadan easier, because usually that's when the bite of all the fasting takes it's toll.

It's nice to be able to fast the an entire month too, as during Ramadan our father never fails to remind us that despite what some non-muslims may say, fasting for an entire month is actually very very healthy. It allows the body to clean out the chemical toxins in the body on it's own, which is one of the many reasons why it's rare you'll find a devout Muslim succumb to certain diseases and cancers. Some bacteria collects on the inner wall of the stomach and the acids inside can't actually get rid of them completely whilst we are constantly eating, which makes Ramadan both a spiritual, mental and physical cleansing of the body.

Ramadan Mubarak!

Nafs

#4
Monday, Sept 17 – The 5th of Ramadhan

[slm]


I made peace with all the people in the world, resolving never to wage war on anyone, and I waged war against my self and have never since made peace with it.
-Rumi, "Mathnawi"
[/color]

It is true, I have brought this all upon myself. Maybe in some sort of way I even enjoy this? I do not know. If only the world was in actual peace, the tradeoff would sound more appetizing. My minds been driving me crazy all day, this is how it usually is. It's filled with thoughts but I am certain that I cannot and will not give up Inshallah. I have always given into compromise and this time I must be firm on where I stand Inshallah. It is good that I haven't given myself peace, if I did then I'd be satisfied with where I was. Where I am is no where and how could someone stay at such a place. I must find a place to rest at, to rest against. Sometimes I want to sit by the side under a tree and watch the rest of the travelers walk by. Should I be in a hurry? Should I take things in ease? I guess I'll have to figure that out with each second that comes my way. Sometimes we think we know what is best, but Allahu Alam.

I wake up during the night, and drift back to sleep.  As suhoor time came around everyone went out to eat, but I stayed in my room. I had a bottle of water in my room, and that was sufficient enough for me. My mom hasn't been talking to me since Saturday night. Ive felt so out of place, and rather stay by myself. Most of the time during suhoor and iftar time we try to make up for all that we have "lost" during the time we were fasting. We forget how little can be sufficient for us.

I have realized that I have wasted four days already, and the fifth one has gone by. I still have more time left Inshallah, although that too is slipping by so quickly. I have been drowning myself. I will not dwell on the facts of what I could have done, but instead will wake up and try my best to do what I can Inshallah.

I decided to stay on campus longer than usual, hoping to get some studying done, which didn't happen of course. As I walked around campus I couldn't help but observe the greenness that surrounded me. Its funny how we humans try to take these colors and create them ourselves, for example through paintings, but it's never the same. No doubt there's something beautiful about nature, which we tend to overlook. We walk by it so often allowing it to fade into the background with everything else that constantly surrounds us. Looking out into the sky or the mountains, or the trees that surround us lifts one of the many clouds that have surrounded our hearts. I cannot describe the beauty nor will I ever be able to.

I wonder if our senses become stronger. I sat in class and before me someone opened a bottle of a strawberry flavored drink. The smell was satisfying enough.

I am sure we all realize this from time to time, but we also forget very easily as well. Small gestures can make the biggest differences. Sometimes we forget how the smallest thing can make some people so happy.

As I drove home an hour before Iftar, I stopped by an Indian shop by my house. I am not really familiar with the different kind of sweets they have so I just pointed and asked for what looked good. I wanted to take something home because I knew I couldn't really help in the kitchen. I was hoping it would make my mom happy, and I don't know if it did.

My heart's been hurting all day, and I try to keep in mind that it could be worse than this. I am such a lucky person Alhamdulillah. I honestly can never stop saying that. I have been giving everything I want, it is only me who continues to lack ... and in what I lack I cannot figure out. Before going home I spoke to a good friend who cheered me up and told me to stay strong. My own good friend who is also my cousin, spoke to me and told me that maybe I should step into my mothers shoes and try to understand. She told me she was not trying to convince me not to do what I wanted. She made me feel as if I was selfish. I must be, but in this case I refuse to think that I am selfish.

I had Iftar with family... and because I haven't been doing suhoor Ive had to take both of my doses of medication at night. I dislike the drs I have been to. I feel like they just handed me meds because they felt that I wanted them. Tonight the meds had a strong affect on me and made me feel sick. I prayed and cried and let the tears drop. These drops were comfort to me and made me realize really only Allah subhanna wata ala can help me. These drugs are no good and make you worse. As soon as I can I will quit them Inshallah. I have no serious illness Alhamdulillah and nor will I allow myself to drown in sorrow of what could happen when nothing has happened yet.

I wish I could visit all of my family, but I haven't yet. They are so near yet so far at the same time... but in due time Inshallah everything will be fine. Someone mentioned last week something that has been running through my mind. It is what is said in the Noble Quran.


"O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint." (2:183)

The keyword is prescribed. It makes you think of when a Dr. prescribes you medicine, except this is Allah subhanna wataAla telling you that fasting is prescribed for you.

I will leave you guys with a poem that I found, I hope you guys like it ...


ALLAH KNOWS BEST
Allah knows what's best for us
So why should we complain
We always want the sunshine
But He knows there must be rain

We always want the laughter
And the merriment of cheer
But our hearts will lose their tenderness
If we never shed a tear.

Allah tests us often
With suffering and with sorrow
He tests us not to punish us
But to help us meet tomorrow

For growing trees are strengthened
If they withstand the storm
And the sharp cut of the chisel
Gave the marble grace and form

Allah tests us often
And for every pain He gives to us
Provided we're patient
Is followed by rich again

So whenever we feel that everything is going wrong
It is just Allah's way
To make our spirit's strong.

Author: Unknown[/color]

May Allah subhanna wata Ala bless our Ummah endlessly and unite us Inshallah. May He forgive us and guide us Inshallah. May all of the pain and suffering that our brothers and sisters are going through be eased Inshallah ... "So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. (94:5-6)"
[/color]

[wlm]

sundoc

#5
Assalamualaikum everyone,

Mawlaya salli wa sallim daeeman Abadan Ala habibika khayril khalqi kullihimi.
   
First and foremost, to the poster above me, Nafs. May Allah Ta'ala bring peace to your heart and mind, may He Azawajal deliver you from these moments of darkness you feel, just as He delivered Yunus Alaihisalam from the triple darkness of the night, the depth of the sea and the belly of the whale. Nothing is beyond His Realm and He Loves that we turn to Him time and time gain. There is indeed no trial that isn't a kafarah/forgiveness for a believer and may Allah Ta'ala elevate and honour you through this trial, ameen.
________________________________________________________________

Ramadhan, Ramadhan, Ramadhan! Each year this Blessed month seems to come quicker and rush past even quicker than that... Alhumdulilah we are all Honoured and Blessed by Allah Azawajal to not only be amongst those who believe in Him, but to also be from amongst those who are from the Ummah of Al Habib Mustapha Salallahualaihiwaslam.

This Ramadhan is second year I'm spending at home after having spent the 6 Ramadhans before this in different parts of the world and Alhumdulilah there are so many things to do. The day begins the with Suhoor and then Fajr at the Masjid, after which there is a small halaqah. We've been covering a text which reminds us of the moments of death and what happens from there on forward, what more better way to begin the day than to remember that we only have a finite number of 'beginnings'!

These days I've got time off so Alhumdulilah I'm able to spend some time reading and reflecting and then before I know it its time for Asar... and I'm not sure if its just me, but once Asar is done it seems like the time FLIES and the next thing I know its midnight and I am leaving the Masjid post Taraweh and talk from a visiting scholar... these talks are what I really wanted to write about, but let me tell you all about Iftar first. I've been mainly breaking my fast at home, which is interesting because its not too often that all of us at home have the same schedule so its nice to sit with my whole family (including our cat!). Other than this I've had Iftar at the Masjid which is attended by LOTS of ppl. Now back to what I really wanted to write about

In life I've Alhumdulilah had several of those rare moments wherein my path crosses with someone whose knowledge simply blows me away, and this Ramadhan has been just that! Shaykhul Hadith Maulana Hanif Salman Saleh from Saharanpur, India is visiting a local Masjid and though I am only able to get the last 20-30 mins of his nightly talk (by the time I get there from where I'm praying Taraweh... incidentally we finished upto Surah Khaf the other night, and the Ayah wherein Allah Ta'ala Relates how on the Day of Judgment people will be presented with the book and will be amazed at how it contains everything big and small, really is something to ponder over, Ayah 49). The past 3 nights the Shaykh has been talking about getting the Sunnah of our Beloved Rasul Salallahualaihiwasalam into our lives, he repeated to us a statement that had been made by one of his teachers:


There was an era where the Sahaba Radiallahuanhum would search out how that Prophet Salallahualaihiwasalam would do each little thing; how he would eat, how he would sleep, how he would walk and so on and so forth. All because they wanted to do everything in the way he Salallahualaihiwasalam did... they wanted to fulfill all the Sunnah. We now live in an age where we don't do things saying its ok not to do it because it is just a Sunnah!

Subhanallah! This is something we talked about many a time when I was in School, may Allah Ta'ala forgive us our neglect.

I'll end this blurb with an incident the Shaykh mentioned to us... it is a dream that a Scholar (one of his teachers once had):

The Shaykh dreamt that he and another Shaykh were going towards a gathering taking place with our Beloved Rasul Salallahualaihiwasalam and his Khulufa Rashideen Radiallahuanhum. So this Shaykh was rushing and running forward with eager anticipation, while the other Shaykh was lagging behind and taking his time. He called back to his companion saying,

   "What is wrong with you? When a Scholar of any repute comes to town, we always rush to greet him and now that our Beloved Rasul Salallahualaihiwasalam has come you're taking your time and walking slowly?"

To which the other Shaykh replied

   "You go ahead, I won't run"

So the first Shaykh continued rapidly forward and upon reaching the gathering he went straight to the Prophet Salallahualaihiwasalam, kissed his mubarik hand and greeted him warmly. The Prophet Salallahualaihiwasalam in turn also greeted him warmly and beckoned him to sit by his side. After a short while the other Shaykh finally came into the gathering and as he entered, our Beloved Rasul Salallahualaihiwasalam got up and rushed over to him, greeting him with immense love and beckoning him to come sit on his lap. This sequence of events greatly confused the first Shaykh. He had rushed and ran to come meet the Prophet Salallahualaihiwasalam, while the second scholar had taken his time slowly walking, but the reception afforded the second scholar was much more loving and filled with a greater deal of respect. So the Shaykh asked our Rasul Salallahualaihiwasalam why this was, to which he Salallahualaihiwasalam said
   
"You thought this Shaykh walking slowly while you ran, do you know why he was walking that way? It is because he was searching out my footprints, for the barakah of stepping in them, as he came to greet me!"

And it was because of this immense love the Shaykh had for the Prophet Salallahualaihiwasalam that he was shown such respect and given such a honoured place to sit.

This was the dream the Shaykh told us of and then he asked us all to imagine what reception will be in store for those who spend their lives striving to fulfill the Sunnah of our Beloved Rasul Salallahualaihiwasalam, when the reward of simply stepping in his footsteps was so great!

So there in a nutshell is my Ramadhan so far... it is different from the past years (in the mountains of Pakistan or at school in the Dominican Republic) but it is amazing just the same. We'll be finishing our first recitation of the Quran on the 10th Inshallah, then I'll be going to another Masjid where there are some Libiyan Quraa reciting... man they make you cry like a baby!! Then the final 10 days will Inshallah be in Itikhaaf.

May Allah Ta'ala Allow us to make full use of this blessed month, may He accept our fasts and prayer as it is us who are in dire need of Him, while He needs us not, ameen.

Please forgive me for the length of this entry... Remember the ummah in your duas.

aishah12

#6
 :-* [niqabisis] [sl] Well to day is my day to post. I'm new to islam and this is my first yr of fasting I have fasted off and on it was not hard,because I don't eat that much anyways. Last yr I con't fast but at the end because I had just had my child Fawzaan muhammad he is now 1yr and he is seen the  world in a new way he is getting in to every thing. this yr wouldn't have been bad with fasting oh but now i have one on the way haveing to eat for the baby and me to and as most women may know, what the baby says go even in the belly. so I can't keep much down so i have a  date and some water and thats all I can eat. and at night I have to eat at 2 or 3am just to keep some food in my belly.  I don't have anyone that I talk to here so I have Ramadhan with me and it's ok. I love this time of the yr Well iam trying to get the best out of Ramadhan. May Allah bless you all. love you For the Sake of Allah

BrKhalid

#7
....Master of the Day of Judgment,
You alone do we worship and from You alone do we ask for help.
Guide us along the straight path.....
[1:4-6]






Isn't it amazing the things we remember as children?


Sometimes small details which our parents have become oblivious to with the passage of time are meticulously retained by us to be retold many a time in later life.


I can remember a time, for example, when, as a mere infant at school, we were gathered all together in the main hall and told which classes we would be in the following year. One by one, names were called out and children happily ran and lined up behind their new respective teachers. I can distinctly remember to this day, the feelings I experienced when everyone had taken their positions and, as the solitary remaining pupil, being told I had no class to go to.



Another year


It is truly hard to believe ten days of this blessed month have already passed us by!! Ramadhan in Sharjah this year got off to a somewhat promising start with warnings from the Dubai Mufti to remember the true meaning of the month and threats from the Sharjah Municipality to crack down hard on traders increasing food prices during the month. It's nice to know that the authorities are starting to recognize the increasing commercialization of the holy month but even so, someone needs to have a word with the Sharjah Government as to why they believe holding a shopping festival during Ramadhan is a good thing ???


I have this pre Ramadhan wish of getting all the supplies we need before the month starts so we can just hanker down and get on with the business of uninterrupted ibadah. Alas it seems I have been foiled once again for another year, but all is not lost since I finally did manage to get those Jordanian dates I do like so much [beardbro]


Iftar rage


One of the main advantages of living in an 'Islamic' country during Ramadhan is the reduced working hours one gets as a Muslim. On the flip side, however, this has the effect of bringing forward the evening rush hour by about 2 hours as everyone scurries home frantically to ensure they have Iftar with their families. No dates at your desk in Sharjah, I can assure you!!


When Iftar time finally arrives, a canon booms across the central part of Sharjah signaling the end of the fasting day. This is quickly followed by a chorus of adhans from the numerous masjids in the city. As I make my daily walk to the masjid for Maghrib, I am constantly amazed how ghostly the roads are given the gridlock that existed only a couple of hours earlier!!



Ceteris Paribus


Before the month began, I had begun to re read Imam Ghazali's "The Remembrance of Death and the Afterlife" as translated by Abdul Hakim Murad. The book being the final chapter of the Imam's Revival of the Religious Sciences [Ihya 'Ulum al Din] carries a description of the soul's journey away from the body at the time of death together with the realities awaiting it on the Day of Judgement and beyond.


All other things being equal, my Ramadhan had started well, and in the first few days I had accomplished a lot of things I had set out to do for the month ahead.


By Day 4, however, my sense of equilibrium received a nasty external shock in the shape of a series of unforeseen worldly events. It seemed as if for few days, as soon as I had put out one particular fire, another had suddenly come along which needed my urgent attention.


How I wished during those days that I was amongst those described in the Quran as:


...men whom neither commerce nor merchandise can divert from the Remembrance of Allah, nor from regular prayer, nor from the practice of regular charity: their (only) fear is the Day when hearts and eyes will be transformed


..and patient in pain (or suffering) and adversity and throughout all periods of panic...



And the winner is...


I have often heard that sports psychologists tell athletes that they must imagine and develop a mental picture of themselves winning in their respective sports. Therefore, a golfer, for example, should imagine himself holing a 6 foot putt on the final green to win a tournament whilst a tennis player should imagine serving for a tournament etc etc. The argument goes that by already picturing the scenario and playing out its conclusion in your mind, you should be in a better position to deal with the nerves and the stress of that particular situation when it eventually arrives


The above thought crossed my mind when reflecting upon death in the following passage of Imam Ghazali's book:


On every side they cry out, from every direction and place they scream aloud, 'O Malik! The threat has come true for us! O Malik! We are weighed down with iron! Release us from here, for we shall not return [to our former sins]!'


But the Guardians of Hell shall say, 'What folly! There is no place of safety, and for you there shall be no escape from the abode of degradation! Fall back therein, and speak not! Were you to be released from it you would return to that which was forbidden you!'
At this they despair, and for their unmindfulness of God they lament. But repentance cannot help them, neither can they be succoured by regret. Instead, they are thrust down upon their faces, chained and fettered, with Hellfire above them, Hellfire beneath them, Hellfire on their right and Hellfire on their left, so that they drown in a sea of fire: their food is fire, their drink is fire, their apparel is fire, their resting place is fire. They dwell among fragments of flame and garments of tar, flayed with rods and weighed down by shackles, as they writhe in its narrow passages and are broken in its depths, cast about from one side to another, boiled in water as water in cauldrons.


Each time they shriek out in grief and lamentation scalding water is poured over their heads, melting away their skin and what is in their bellies. There are iron rods for them which splinter their brows. Pus bursts forth from their mouths and their livers are lacerated by thirst, as pupils of their eyes flow out over their cheeks, the flesh of which has peeled away. Their skin and hair are plucked out, but as often as their skins are consumed We shall exchange them for fresh skins. Their bones are denuded of flesh, but their spirits remain in their veins and arteries, which hiss as they are scorched by the flames. In the midst of this they long constantly to die; never, however, shall they do so.




Crocodile


We had a couple of friends around for Iftar one night and my wife was particularly worried since one of the party is notoriously difficult to please and will simply swallow his food if the taste is not to his liking!!


Personally, I never saw any reason to fret in the first place, but there was definite sigh of relief all round as we notice profound chewing taking place on the part of the brother in question [beardbro]


Wisdom


One of the consequences of reading about death and the Hereafter is that it awakens the heart and reminds us of our journey to come. It was in this state that I happened by chance to read the following verse of the Quran:


Seek help in patience and prayer; and truly it is hard save for the humble minded,

Who know that they will have to meet their Lord, and unto Him they are returning



If you read the above two verses back to front, the message is that those who have certainty in the Hereafter are more likely to be humble minded. In turn, humble minded individuals will find it easier to practice patience and prayer, the reward of which is ultimately the help of Allah. And if Allah is your Helper, who is there that can you bring you harm?



The Oft Repeated Verses


I remember standing in that hall crying because I was all alone and left out whilst others were happy that day in their new places.


For me, that incident was a long time ago but when I look back I can't help but think of what the sense of regret will feel like when the Companions of the Right Hand will receive their books and proceed to the Garden whilst I stand there waiting to see if I will be called forward and not knowing what my outcome will be?


In the life of this world, a teacher came up to me and dried away my tears and told me I was moving school so I didn't have to worry about a new class but what will be my fate on the Day when one soul shall not avail another.?


Sr Nafs mentioned in her diary that fasting is like a prescription and the analogy is one of the wisdoms of the Quran since something prescribed has to be taken in regular doses to have effect.


The wonderful thing I find about the prescription for receiving Allah's help, however, is that we read it every day as contained in the original three verses quoted above.


That indeed is a blessing to be grateful for.


"The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! he, between whom and thee there was enmity (will become) as though he was a bosom friend" [41:34][/b]

tq

Assalamo elikuim
Today was my day to sleep late since I was going to work, no need to wake up in the middle of night to work :).
I had my alarm set for 5:15 but I just hit the snooze so that I could sleep for "just five more minutes" :) My husband woke me up at 5:50 am when he came back from gym. I was shocked to see that so much time has passed and was wondering if I could prepare everything in time, the ending time for suhoor is 6:18. While my husband was in shower I made paratahs,egg and ofcourse tea. Set the table. My older son only wantsed to eat boiled egg, cereal and pop tarts! There was no time to argue with him. Had our tea just in time, Alhamdullah. My son went back to bed asking to be woken up just 15 minutes before the school bus comes and my husband left for work. After clearing up everything I went to wake my son #2 for school. It was a battle! He is fasting on Fridays,Saturdays and Sunday. Those days even if we sleep late, when I wake him up for suhoor, he gets up right away. But on school days, when he gets more time to sleep, he doesn't want to wake up. I have to carry him some days to bathroom :).  Ofcourse he missed his bus and I went to drop him to school.
My son #1 hurt his toe yesterday at the masjid so he didn't feel like going in bus and beside he asked me how come I drop his younger brother to school often and not him. So to maintain equality I had to drop him too:) I dropped my daughter at my friend's house and went to work. At 2 I left my work, picked my daughter and went home. My son #2 came back from school and he did home work while my daughter gave him a very hard time by pulling his school papers and books.  My husband came back from work and went to sleep.
We went to masjid for iftar/taraweeh. So around 6:30 I and kids went to masjid because on week days they have their Quran class. Their class time is a good time for me to read Quran , Alhamdullah. We had our iftar and after that me and some other sister cleaned up the area (we are the designated cleaning sisters:) ) On week days I pray just Isha at the masjid and then me, son #2 and daughter come back to home and son#1 and my husband stays till the end of taraweeh. This year our hafiz is a young man with very nice Qirat, Mashallah. His mom was telling me that this is his 6th year of leading taraweeh , Mashallah  and he is only 19!
Alhamdullah for us Ramadan are going very nice and busy though I am not doing as much ibadah as I planned :( Our masjid community is very nice, this is our second Ramadan in Georgia but seems like that we have been living here forever, Alhamdullah for such a nice nearby community. Time seem to be flying and with each passing day,month and year I realize how much I could have done and did not do. Before each Ramadan comes, I always make plans how that year I will do more ibadah, more zikr etc but always seem to be way behind the plan.
May Allah swt accept all of us fasting and ibadahs , Ameen.

 
PS: Wow everybody's diary entries are so deep and spritual , Mashallah, mine looks like a schedule :(

Rabiya

#9
[bismillah]

[slm]

Waking up in the morning at 5:45 AM for me isn't something terribly difficult for me to do, however I still walk around with my eyes closed until I have to make wudu for Fajr. But that's OK. I'm never hungry for some reason, but I eat something anyway, like soup and sambosa or something simple like this, allhamdulillah.

I go to an Islamic K-12 private school in 9th grade-- it isn't the best school, with 170 students yet only 6 high schoolers all together and the academic classes (for high school only) are online, but we are all so natural around each other because of the small number, masha'Allah. But I guess it's a plus to be in an Islamic environment with Islamic classes, right?

So, anyways, yesterday I took a geometry quiz online during the school day, while my friend who also goes to this school took hers at home. Today, our teacher e-mailed us to say that we seemed to share each others' answers for the non-multiple choice, since we made the same mistake and they were written very similarly. This was very frustrating for us, as we did not share answers, we even submitted it 8 hours apart from each other. But, it's Ramadan and we had to contain our frustration at her potential disbelief if we e-mail her and explain that we did not cheat. We e-mailed her anyway and she replied saying, "I knew there had to be an explanation! Thank you so much for informing me!" Allhamdulillah-- double (no, triple) sighs of relief right here. =D

Trust in Allah (swt), gentle power in action, and understanding that Allah's subtle ways are for a reason that only He, The Latif, knows. We cannot but surrender in acceptance, release our hands from the rope of frustration and give ourselves to the rope of Allah's power, to know that this rope will surely hold us and pull us up higher as long as we hold fast to it, regardless of how heavy our worried hearts may be.


Another subtle yet significant thing that happened today was that I was sort of lonely. I was the only one on the bus other than my little sister, so I just fell asleep after reading Banat Al-Riyadh a bit. In PE we had free time because of Ramadan, but my friend fell asleep, another left early, one is a boy and wasn't with us, and the two others were just talking about something I didn't really know about, so I just sat there and read Banat al-Riyadh. Now, don't get me wrong-- I wasn't trying to make a big deal out of this, I'm just new here so I don't know everyone as well as they know each other, so it's natural to feel a bit left out, but it doesn't bother me that much. However, from this, I learned that although our hearts may feel lonely, we really aren't. And no, I don't mean "Oh, I know how you feel". I mean that Al-Wali is always with us, watching us, stalking our every move, recording our every thought, listening to our tongues murmur insults or murmur praises, Al-Wali is just... always with us.

How could we ever feel lonely when we are already embraced in Al-Muhaiman's love and protection? We are one rhythm made of droplets manifested from The One's mercy.

And we should never forget that, insha'Allah.

<3
~~RAMADAN KAREEEEM~~
<3

Sr.Kathy

#10
As salaamu alaykum
[bismillah]

Ramadan Mubarak to all. What a glorious month! I feel so blessed to be able to witness it again. It is such a mercy from our Creator. So much, we won't understand the depths of His Mercy until we reach paradise, Insha Allah.

I like to reflect on my past, during this month. It must be because I am carefully reading the entire Qur'an this month in it's entirety. Through out the Qur'an, we read about the trials and tribulations of those who lived before us and read about the warnings and punishments of those who were heedless. The range of emotions I go through when reading the Qur'an always surprise me. The immense joy of being a Muslim to the immense fear of being a Muslim.

Insha Allah, I will never stop being grateful to Allah swt for choosing me to become one of his slaves. My past was not so bad compared to many Americans, however it was frightening to think about where that path might have led. Subhannah Allah someone saw the potential in me and helped me become a Muslim. Someone... nah... it was a community of people, one by one, that Allah swt sent as I needed them. Kind of like the way suras and ayahs revealed to the polytheistic society over 1400 years ago. Little by little lessons were taught, when the people were ready to hear them.

I choose this date, for my Ramadan Reflections, because it was the birthday of the first person that introduced Islam to me over 20 years ago. There was a night when my life was going to change and the path was divided before me. Just as I was about to open the door to a life of dunya, my fate changed. Subhannah Allah, when I opened the door a Muslim was standing there with Islamic info and my life changed forever, Alhumdullillah.  I am really grateful he was born and even though I have lost touch and haven't spoken to him in so many years, for some unknown reason I can still remember his birthday. I can barely remember much about him or his face, but he was a gift to me from Allah swt. He was definitely a mercy from Allah swt.

I had a dream the other night about an Islamic teacher I had many years ago. It was the first time I met a Brother who followed Islam and not hislam. Subhannah Allah, he also had great impact on me and most likely had no clue of this. I would eagerly wait for his classes and he was not afraid of me or make fun of my questions. He was another mercy from Allah swt who was there for a short time and made a major difference in my life.

There is an email floating around and it is about a guy driving a fancy car, speeding through the neighborhood, he sees a group of kids circled around something but is in too much of a hurry to stop. A kid throws a brick and damages the car. The irate owner gets out and the kid says his brother fell out of the wheel chair and no one would stop. It was the only way to get the driver's attention.

How many times did I need a brick to hit me square in the head? How many more times will I? Who am I leaving in my dust as I accomplish all my agendas? It is frightening to be a Muslim. We are held accountable to a different degree than everyone else around us.

A couple of weeks ago our local MSA had a table along with other clubs inviting people to join. They asked me to join them so to represent the community and inform the new students of the Masjid, library, grocery store and local eateries.  We were situated in a long hall, table after table. Something odd was happening. A lot of times a bunch of 'foreign looking' kids would be walking toward table. Then, like a deer caught in headlights, turn around and leave. I would see them around the corner hush hush whispering and nervously looking at me. I could not get it. However, it happened more than a dozen times in my 2-day stint. On the final day, three kids, 2 Asian and one East Indian approached my table. The East Indian looking guy stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. He said something to the others and they left him at my table and they went to the table 2 spots down the hall. He was Muslim, took information and signed up for the MSA. His friends came back and said something and he looked at me hesitantly and said no to them.

Wow, I wondered what was going on. So I asked the girl next to me what the table on the other side was selling. It was tickets to the opening big clubbing night on campus.  Allahu Allum, after I got a chuckle out of it, I reflected on the night many years ago when the Muslim came to my home. Allah swt is so merciful. Even when we least expect it. I wonder if years from know a Muslim will reflect on the day they went to buy tickets to the club and as they struggled with their nafs and societal pressures. Just as they were about to go down the wrong path...there sat a Muslim, a reminder from Allah swt.

It is Ramadan and I need the brick. I need to be hit upon the head for so many reasons. I need to be more conscious of others needs, I need to be more aware of my responsibilities to others. I need to fine tune my eeman. Allah swt has given me so many opportunities and so many gifts. I reflect on my 12-cent Ramadan of last year and see immense changes this year. I finally see the gifts of Ramadan instead of my perceived losses. We went to sight the moon and as always, it was too clouded. However, Allah swt gave us a dazzling sunset. On my way to pick up a child, a rare blue heron flew above the bridge. This year I had a part time job and was able to participate and provide an Iftar dinner at the Masjid. I found an English translation of Shk Sudais taraweeh dua. I never understood it before, never knew why everyone was crying. Last night I cried along with them.

For the first time. Al humdullillah, I feel sorry for my sister and those around me. I used to think how lucky they were not to fast. This year I just felt sad that they are not learning the same lessons and feeling the same joy or getting the same Mercy we are.

On of the best lessons I learn in Ramadan is how it comes and goes. In a blink of an eye, it is over. Every year Allah swt gives us a chance of spiritual renewal. Mercy is always with us. However, our chance to 'catch it' comes and goes very quickly. We have been given many chances to give charity, care, compassion, friendship, naseeha and love. But how fleeting those moments go. I am thinking about a sis who had an operation and needed help, or the sis who needs help with her prayers, or the child that just wants you to stop a moment to love them. These moments come and go. We must take full advantage of them. Insha Allah, I will not need a brick to get my attention.
May your Ramadan be merciful and may you be a mercy to those around you.


"Allah surely knows the warmth of every teardrop... " Jaihoon

tree

#11
 [slm]
[bismillah]

Alhamdulillahi rabbil alamin.
I could really just end my post there as it encompasses everything I feel at the moment.  I'm so grateful for all the blessings I've received from Allah  [swt] I don't know how to express it.  And Ramadan is such a month that I'm able to spend more time in reflecting upon this and realising the bounties that He sends upon His servants - and it makes me wonder why? I can be so heedless and yet He continues to give and give.  Indeed He is the most merciful and most kind.

This Ramadan began with peace - even though I could feel that it would be the culmination of many, somewhat stressful, events.  The past couple of months, apart from the six weddings I attended  :o, were rather uneventful.  As the first week of Ramadan loomed I was interviewed for my job (due to major cutbacks everyone had to go for interviews for a smaller no of jobs - Alhamdulillah I was appointed but some of my colleagues weren't  :(), I am offered another job which involves going to Pakistan at the end of Ramadan, I later find out I have to prepare the materials for this job which I was initially assured would be done by someone else, and we find out our house sale may finally be going through after months of delays.  So I'm starting a new job working slightly more hours, taking on a second job preparing materials, insha'allah going home for Eid, going to Pakistan the day after Eid, meeting family that I've not seen for 18years!, delivering training to Pakistani teachers (I find it so weird that I'll be doing that!), and possibly moving house.  Oh, and I'm fasting.  Normally I'd need to lie down after thinking about all that, but Alhamdulillah, it's all happening in and around Ramadan and the barakah of this month makes everything feel easy and peaceful.

There is one thing that's been getting me down though, and coupled with tiredness, it really got to me today: food and iftar invitations.  Every year I love to invite people to break their fast with us, especially people who are single or who don't have much family here, but I feel it's just getting out of hand.  I'd already told my husband I didn't want to do too much this ramadan, but with knowing more people each year the number of iftaris and the number of people attending seems to be growing.  The first five days of Ramadan were great - simple food at suhur and iftar with just me and my husband.  But the past ten days all I feel I've been doing is working and cooking!  Not that I've been preparing extravagant meals, but just the preparation involved after coming home from work takes a big chunk out of your time for ibadaat.  And even though I try not to eat too much I still feel heavy to the point I feel like I need to fast...from fasting!  :(  And so this afternoon, the thought of having to rush 'asr to make sure I started cooking on time and not being able to read as much Qur'an became too much for me and I ended up sitting in the car having a good sob. 
It did me good though - but after this weekend, there'll be no more iftar invitations going out!  I still think having people over to break the fast is a great thing to do, but at the moment it feels like a distraction for me, so hopefully I won't turn into a cheese borek after all (my husband has been insisting I make these whenever we have people over!)

Insha'allah I hope that by cutting out these distractions, even when on the surface they seem beneficial, I can truly realise in my heart and with all my being, that Allah  [swt] is enough. 

For truely with hardship comes ease; truely with hardship comes ease. 

Ramadan Mubarik, and insha'allah I pray we're all able to make the most of the next half of this blessed month and all our prayers will be answered, amin.

Faizah



[slm]

Briefly my day was not much different than any other in that I grumbled and stumbled my way to the kitchen to eat something, although rolling over and going back to sleep was all I really wanted to do.  I did manage to catch a couple more hours of sleep and then proceeded to go do some laundry before it was time for my son's soccer game at around 12:30.  The day at the field was pleasant - sunny with a nice breeze - so it was a nice hour spent.  His team didn't lose, nor did it win; it was a scoreless game, but I'm sure they'll do better next game and besides at their age (under 10 group) it should still be all about fun and exercise and not some deep competition which always seems to ruin any pleasant situation. 

As for a description of my Ramadan thus far, I probably won't be as insightful nor upbeat as others, but here goes.......

Ramadan is a time of reflection, among other things. So I reflect and what I see isn't always too pleasant.  For example, we know shaytan is chained during this time and as such cannot influence the behaviors/actions/words of others; therefore anything that is done/said is truly from that person and shows their true nature.  This is disheartening as I look at the
situation at work where once again I've been denied advancement despite the critical work I do.  I'm prevented from even going forth and trying something different all because those in power have no qualms about doing all they can to negatively impact my fiscal viability and my psyche all the while expecting me to continue to give 100% and be grateful for my station in life.  As I was told just yesterday, there are some that view one's appearance as somehow defining their worth and ability and if it isn't like everyone else then you just won't fit; in this instance not dressing in western attire somehow is a problem (what I was really hearing was "uncover your hair").  To say I was stunned would be an understatement because this is supposed to be a place where laws and policies are in place to prohibit such actions yet it happens right under our very noses.

I reflect on how difficult it is to fast and still go to work daily and function at the same
level as always, and care for my family and home by myself. 

I reflect on how I should still feel blessed despite my problems.  I have a job even if
aggravating at times whereas there are some in this world that do not a job. 

I have a car although it gives me issues occassionally whereas there are some in this world that don't even have a bicycle.  I can afford to put gas in my car whereas there are some that simply cannot and that can mean the difference between life and death (remember Katrina and the lives lost for the want of gas money). 

I have food on my table every day although I have to finance, fetch and fix it myself whereas there are some in this world for which there is no daily food supply. 

I always seem to have a mountain of laundry to do but it means my children and I aren't naked whereas there are some in this world who only have the clothes on their backs. 

I reflect on how alone I am without a husband (and I need and want one) but I also remember that I could still be in an abusive relationship and be miserable and in fear for myself and my children feeling as if I had to walk on eggshells in my own house (and I do mean mine), yet there are some in this world that are in abusive situations and no means to get out or perhaps have already lost life or limb as a result of remaining. 

I grumble because the bus arrives so early to take my son to school, yet there are some children in this world that don't have the opportunity to go to school. 

I miss my mother immensely (and cry often) but I had her for 36 years whereas there are some people in this world that have never known their mothers.  My father lives in another country and I miss him although he wasn't a daily presence in my youth, yet there are some people who have no idea who their fathers are let alone know where they are. 

My eldest child is a distance away pursuing her education but I can always call/e-mail, send packages to her and know she will come home whereas there are some who either don't know where their children are or have no means of communicating with them even when they do.

I don't often get the opportunity to go to the masjid or attend other activities - even during Ramadan - because I'm constantly doing things at home or for/with my children not to mention work yet there are some that don't have a majsid to go to at all or don't have the means to get there. 

There always seems to be some chore or repair when living in one's own house and it's difficult when you don't have the time, energy or skills to accomplish them all and encounter difficulties getting anyone to help, yet there are some people in this world that don't have a place to call home because they have been forced to leave it behind sometimes to save their very lives or simply don't have the means to afford one. 

I reflect on how I live in what is supposed to be the richest nation in the world yet there are people in it who would dispute that distinction because they don't live it. 

I reflect on how I live in a nation that claims to be the most tolerate but still mistreats or makes it unpleasant for some of it citizens yet there are some people who face imprisonment or death because of those differences.

I reflect on the hardships that our beloved Prophet (salallahu 'alayhi was salaam) and his family and companions faced and how what we face pales by comparison. 

I reflect on how for someone who was always so shy and quiet (and in some instances still am) I still have the courage to stand up and speak out on issues near and dear to my heart, including dispelling the myths and misconceptions the media presents about Muslims and Islam whereas there are some who are at great risk if they dare speak out. 

I reflect on the fact that I can freely spend time with my family and go where I choose whereas there are some who have been taken away from their families and have their freedom of movement restricted. 

I am blessed that I can read the Quran (even if not in Arabic) because there are some in this world that have been denied literacy.

I reflect on how I want to be someplace else, just not sure where nor how I'd manage to get there yet knowing that there are some people who have stopped dreaming about being somewhere else and just long to be someplace safe.

I could go on, but the point is clear; that no matter what I face, in the grand scheme of things I cannot deny that I'm blessed even if I sometimes fail to see it.

I can say that thus far this Ramadan has been different for me.  I've not experienced the physical symptoms of excessive tiredness in the mid-afternoons like I used to nor the sudden onset of chills.  My son has decided that he wants to try his first attempt at fasting even though he loves to eat, so I am pleased.  My half-sister recently gave birth to her first child (she is a few months older than me) so I'm tickled; I love shopping for baby girls.  I'm trying to get myself back into the practice of crocheting items for a charitable cause I've been involved with for a few years; I feel good knowing that in some small way I can help someone who I may never meet but that doesn't matter because we should do good things for the right reasons and not because we want acknowledgement for our actions.

I have found that this time I'm more sensitive than usual and cry easily and often.  In some ways however, maybe that's a good thing because it means that my heart is still able to feel and I've not yet been harded by life and what it has handed me (or not handed me) as so many others are.  Still I wish I wasn't this way because it seems that only the cruel and hard-hearted achieve and those who are gentle-spirited get eaten alive, left behind and tossed by the wayside forced to be content with the crumbs of life (big sigh).  I now we are told that after hardship comes ease and I try to keep focused on that because if I ever lose all hope I am lost for sure.

With just a short time remaining for Ramadan I now have to figure out how to eat my way through the 2 lbs. of dates I bought (not sure what I was thinking when I did that); guess I'll be baking some date nut bread very soon.

  [wlms]






lala marcy

#13
 [slms] all,

Life has so many limitations. Yet Allah swt's mercies are limitless. Ramadan is supposed to give us this 'special' feeling. But this feeling only becomes what it is when we put energy into it.

Today was like any other day of the year.  It was full of activity, company and food. I was invited to a dear friends' bridal shower. She's non Muslim, but since I cannot make it to her wedding in November, I felt that I needed to be there for her. You see, I've known her since 2nd grade. That is like 20 years or so !! Wow. Anyway, let me continue. I woke up and had my suhoor like I normally do, prayed and stayed up for a bit. I then drifted off for a few more hours.

When I got to Connecticut early afternoon, I had a few thoughts. 1. This was a really nice neighborhood, and 2. I needed to leave early enough to get home to break my fast. Lastly, I did not know who else I'd know at this thing. Alas, the company was great. The food looked good too. Everyone kept wondering why I was not eating. I told them it was Ramadan and that I was fasting. Years ago, when I would tell non Muslims that it was Ramadan, they did not know what it was or to what religion, if any, it belonged to. These days, it seems that people just know! The reasons may not be so pure, but they know. That alone felt nice. It was like I was giving Dawah without even trying. They asked me if I get thirsty and how it all makes me feel. So I tried to talk about the spirituality of it all. One woman, who was very into yoga, understood it all! I sort of felt that they all understood me and in some ways respected me. Does that sound odd? Maybe I'm not writing it well.

Anyway, I did not get to enjoy the multi layered cake (mind you it was one half vanilla pudding and the other layer was raspberry and chocolate ---my favorite). Or the home made biscotti that my friends' aunt made. Plus, I heard the coffee was really good.  But, it did not bother me the slightest. Not once, did my stomach growl or my soul yearn for a bite. I thought that was strange. But once I made that intention to fast for Allah swt, to fast for my own 'salvation' – hunger became an afterthought.

I got home in time to get my prayers in before Maghrib. I even got some time to reflect on the day. I'm blessed in so many ways that I often feel guilty for all the bounties Allah swt has bestowed on me. I got to share iftar with my parents- who I have been spending countless hours with. This has been the most special gift this Ramadan. When I look back on these days years from today, this is what I will remember. Breaking bread, sharing words, with my parents. Understanding what it means to 'have' and fearing what it could mean to be without.

I wish you all a blessed second half (or less) of Ramadan. May it be filled with all of God's mercies. Pray like it's your last and love your best. My thoughts and duas are with you all.



salaampeaceshalom

 [slm]

Dear sis Faizah, I sincerely hope that your promised Ease comes soon, big hugs.  Can you not speak to the union or someone else if your colleagues are discriminating against you simply because you're a Muslim, which is what I'm understanding from your entry?

I had no idea what to call my entry so feel free to add a title to it.

                                                            ~

In the first few days of Ramadhaan, I moved to join my husband.  He'd moved to a new location to be nearer to his new job at a different hospital, where it would be less hectic for him and therefore we'd get to spend more time together.  However, in this process I had to make a very difficult choice, which I'd initially thought would be an easy one for me to make.

I have had to give up my career for now.  Let me explain: we've moved to a small quiet picturesque town in the middle of nowhere, with cities flanked a long way away from it, and hundreds of miles away from our families and friends.  Like I said, the middle of nowhere.

As a result there are no job opportunities in this tiny town for me.  I've looked in to the cities closest to it and they aren't really big cities, so there hasn't been much luck there either.  The bigger cities are too far for me to travel to but have ample of opportunities.  When it came down to the crunch, I suddenly realised how hard it was for me to leave my then job, and how hard it was to start turning down jobs that were being offered to me in the bigger cities.  You'd think that two people who work in the health profession would find it relatively easy to find jobs in the same place, but no, not so in this case.

Going from a successful career to doing nothing...well, its kind of a hard pill to swallow.  I feel like I need to be doing something productive with my time.  Not to mention the financial loss.  Don't get me wrong, insha'Allaah financially we won't struggle, alhumdulilah.  It's just that on a personal level I feel I have lost a sense of independence and a sense of freedom.  I don't know if anyone understands what I mean.  And I feel I need to be constantly practicing my skills as I have this fear (maybe irrational) that I will become less proficient and less competent in what I do.

As this town is so small I honestly cannot see myself finding a job here in at least the foreseeable next 6months, and so I'm trying to resign myself to this and be ok with it.  I have decided to get involved with some voluntary work and insha'Allaah travel to the cities where I can find some classes/study circles on Islaam, at least twice a week, which I have already started doing alhumdulilah.  Oh, because did I mention that there are hardly any Muslims in this quaint town??  As it is there isn't even a halaal meat butcher, so my husband has to go to one of the cities to get his meat.  There is hardly any diversity in the population here and I have been told that I am the only person here who wears hijab.  So as you can imagine, when I walk around town, I receive stares.  Alhumdulilah though, most people who stare, smile friendly at me when I catch them doing so, and so that's made it much more easier to deal with.

I have moved around a fair bit in my time, but each time I seem to savour it.  This time though, I feel my move has been devoid of something.  And instantly I can tell you what it is.  It is the fact that there is only one other Muslim family in this town who appear to want to keep to themselves.  I truly believe that my soul feels amiss and isolated because it is bereft from other Muslims.  There is so much truth in the brother/sisterhood of Islaam, that when you are miles away from the company of others, you sorely feel as if you have been cut off from something beautiful and your heart remains unsettled as a result.

 
I have missed praying tarawih prayers.  I have missed being in the company of other Muslims, all united as one being but beseeching our Lord with our own individual prayers.  I have missed being moved to tears by an Imam's recitation, and knowing that mine is not the only soul that has been touched to weep.  I have missed this all.  After speaking to my husband he has assured me that insha'Allaah from this week we can go to the nearest city and find mosques where we can join the tarawih prayers.  This gives me comfort as I know that we will be in the last ten days and so I pray that it will be made that much more special insha'Allaah.


However, it's not all doom and gloom.  Alhumdulilah my husband and myself have spent so much time together during this Ramadhaan that our relationship has blossomed even more beautifully, and I thank Allaah ta^ala for this blessing in what has proved to be a difficult move for me.  We have been praying most of the prayers together, and I have taken a leaf from a friend who also moved to a new place awhile ago, and coped by baking.  Yes, I'm surprised as you are, but alhumdulilah it works a treat.  I have already successfully made a cheesecake, insha'Allaah my next feat will be a carrot cake :).  I am also insha'Allaah meeting a friend tomorrow in one of the further but bigger cities to go Eid shopping :); I plan to learn a new surah this week insha'Allaah; and to start going through my folders and notebooks in order to begin to compile some of my notes that I've taken over the last few years on our beautiful religion to put in an easier format to read for myself and to have it all in one place.

Thank you for reading this far!

May our souls be purer by the end of this month, ameen!

Wa'salaam

Nasouba

 [slm]

Inshallah you are all doing well and are in the highest level of Iman and Taqwa. Ramathan kareem and inshallah welcome to the last ten days of Ramadan. May we enter them with conviction and hope and leave them with our necks saved from the hellfire. I want to begin by apologizing for not posting this reflection on the date in which i had signed up for. It has been a hectic Ramadan and again which Ramadan isn't, wa Alhamdulilah!

Soo...It's been twenty days..subhanallah! This month has flown by as we always expect it to but it seems that every year we undergo the same shock and realize these many days and therefore opportunities for maghfira (forgiveness) have gone by and how many did we take advantage of. My Ramadan this year has been a roller coaster ride, more than usual Ramadans. I began the month with much hope and happiness and alhamdulilah I've managed to keep that energy but sometimes the dunya just slows you down...and it doesn't give up until you are completely down. my #1 goal this Ramadan was to cleanse my heart and my nafs from the desires of this dunya. I was soo very fed up with all the desires that overcome and take lead of my life. There is so much more out there for us to experience and know if the dunya was not an important aspect of my daily life.  Of course i realize that its not an easy task and i started with determination but as the days went on, i feel myself fall back in to it and then bringing my self back up. I want to compare it to a drowning person...the water keeps pulling me down but i struggle to get my head out of the water for a small breath.  It is a hard battle to be always fighting and it would just be easier to just LET myself drown and become one with water...but then i would be dead. Subhanallah...I could give into the dunya, let it govern my life, this may make me "happy", but is it true happiness. I've been taught over and over...happiness as we define it is not the true happiness. Happiness comes when there is freedom from the dunya and our desires.  I remember watching a show on an Iqra television show hosted by Moez and he was talking about getting high and falling into drinking. He mentions that people take drugs to be happy, to relax but they don't know what true happiness is. The true Ecstasy of being with Allah(swt) and knowing that He (swt) is with you at all times and "has your back" whenever you call for him.  That comment completely made me rethink the concept of happiness and satisfaction.

However, even with all this contextual knowledge the hard part is applying this knowledge and making a game plan for Ramadan. This is how i approached my goals for Ramadan, a game plan, a daily schedule. A schedule in which there was no room for slacking off in. Alhamdulilah it has helped me stay on course and complete my goal and stay on task wa alhamdulilah.  However the "train" of the last ten days is here...and it's time for us to get on it ...and inshallah riiide it until Eid morning inshallah.

May Allah(swt) purify our intentions and give us the energy to do the best we can in these upcoming days and forgive us all of our sins and unite this ummah...

Fi Amani Allah,
Nassiba


nuh

 [slm]

Ramadan 22, 1428

Location - Ottawa, Canada

Prayer times
fajr - 5:45
dhuhr - 12:53
asr - 4:05
maghrib - 6:42
isha - 8:02

5:00 am

Woke up for suhoor and alhamdulillah had a significant meal. Yogurt, a dry toasted bagel and 3 glasses of water. I try to be mindful of those that don't even have that...

The righteous are those who feed the poor, the orphan and the captive for the love of Allah, saying: 'We feed you for the sake of Allah Alone; we seek from you neither reward nor thanks. (76:8-9)


5:45

Fajr


6:00

Recitation of Juz 22


6:45 - 7:15

Spent time collecting my thoughts and reviewing my notes for today's bayt al-hikma reflection:

Fill your house with the books of our deen, and your house becomes a house of wisdom. Affix sadaqah boxes to its walls, and your house becomes a house of charity. Bring those who need a warm home to your table, and your house becomes a lamp in the darkness.


7:15 - 8:30

Get my babies dressed, fed and on the bus for school. Some people find it odd that I do the morning routine but it is important for fathers to take an active role in the raising of children.

Abu Salmah related that Abu Hurayrah  said, "The Prophet (saws) kissed Hasan ibn 'Ali while Aqra' ibn Habis was sitting nearby.  Aqra' said, 'I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.' The Prophet  looked at him and said, 'Those who show no mercy will be shown no mercy.'" (Bukhari and Muslim)


9:00 - 12:30

Work, blah, blah, blah
Money, blah, blah, blah
Stocks, blah, blah, blah
Gold & Oil, blah, blah, blah
World Markets, blah, blah, blah

The Prophet Muhammad (saws) said: "There is no gift better and more vast that you may be given than patience." (Bukhari)


12:30 - 2:30

Off to masjid for dhuhr. Afterward I spent some time reading:

30 minutes - Tafsir ibn Kathir (DarusSalam)
20 minutes - Islamic Beliefs (IIPH)

The Prophet (saws) said: "The seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim." (Tirmidhi)


3:00 - 4:00

Work, blah, blah, blah
Money, blah, blah, blah
Stocks, blah, blah, blah
Gold & Oil, blah, blah, blah
World Markets, blah, blah, blah

The Prophet (saws) said: "No one can be given a blessing better and greater than patience." (Bukhari)


4:00 - 4:15

asr

The Prophet (saws) said: "Every act of goodness is charity." (Muslim)


4:15 - 5:30

Work, blah, blah, blah
Money, blah, blah, blah
Stocks, blah, blah, blah
Gold & Oil, blah, blah, blah
World Markets, blah, blah, blah

By (the token of) time (through the ages). Verily mankind is in a state of loss, except those who have faith and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of truth and of patience and constancy. (103:1-3)


5:45 - 6:45

Come home and kiss my beloved wife and all my babies. We always spend time talking about our days -- the good and bad.

The Prophet (saws) said: "The best among you are those who treat their wives in the best manner." (Tirmidhi)


6:45

We brake fast... no dates today. Three sips of water and then maghrib.


7:00 - 7:30

Just a family iftar tonight. The menu includes baked chicken, baked potato, and a veggie medley. For dessert ice cream and cookies!

Narrated Anas ibn Malik: "I have never seen anyone more kind to one's family than the Prophet Muhammad." (Muslim)


7:30

I put my younger children to bed.  This includes a story, ablution and we all recite surah Fatihah together.


8:00 - present

I get stressed about this diary piece, stop procrastinating and get down to writing.


I wish you all a blessed conclusion to your Ramadan. May it be filled with the mercy of Allah (swt). The Prophet (saws) said: "You will not believe as long as you do not love one another." (Muslim)

I am now off for isha... I love you all for the sake of Allah (swt) and you are all in my duas. Please keep me in yours insha'Allah.
 

Ma'as salaama,

nuh ibn zbigniew gondek





Aminah

I'm sorry I'm posting late, I wasn't @ the computer.
I usually stay woke until well after fajr, so I stayed woke as usual; and I ate a Snickers bar and a A&W Rootbeer for sahoor. I reviewed my arabic letters (I'm learning) and made salaat. I wasn't at my husbands house this time. I fell asleep around 7:30am and slept until 11:00 am. Once I woke up I called my sister; she came over and we went window shopping at IKEA. After window shopping for a while we went grocery shopping for my apartment. I then headed back to my apartment, my husband then picked me up and brought me to his house. I stayed there and listened to him read Qur'an until he departed for the masjid. I waited paitently until he returned; we then ate dinner (spaghetti). We made salaat and then we headed out of the house for some fresh air. (We walked around the lake!) We returned and watched a little TV (I hate TV though; but I found something kinda interesting so hey...) I washed a couple loads of clothes and I remember being so tired, I could barely remember anything... I just remember saying "Yup" to everything my hubby was saying...

anisa

Assalmu alikum all,

Ramadan is the month of gaining 'Taqwa'.When the last ten days (of Ramadaan) would come, the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wasallam) would spend his night in worship, wake his family (at night), exert himself and tighten his Izaar (waistcloth).

I planned the following before Ramadan :

1.Acquiring Islamic knowledge
2.Attendin Tarawih Prayer in jamah
3.Attending Jumah prayer
4.Giving in charity
5.Qyamul layl
6.Spending more time in Dawah Work

Alhamdulillah! we have arrenged two new halakah classes in Ramadan.Mashallah sisters are very much eager to learn Islam.We sold various Islamic books and scarves/As a Muslim we should  spread dawah in all time .People want to hear us good word .'A good word is like a good tree,its root are firm and its branches are in Heaven:so it gives its produce every season by the leave of its Lord".
During day time I  am attending halakah ,sometimes buying books for sisters and sometimes staying in house .Before Ramadan I started book of tafser Ibn Kathir .It's a wonderful Tafser.
After Asr prayer I am helping my mother for preparing Ifter.Then watching TV programme .In Bangladesh various Islamic programms are  arrenged by different TV channels.This year I'm enjoing the Tarawih prayer because one of my cousin sister is attending with me .She started wearing hejab this Ramadan. It's a great pleasure for me .

We ask Allah SWT to accept our prayer and our good deeds. Ameen.

timbuktu

#19
[slm]

This thread is not for making comments, but I will use this opportunity of making a post for my ramadan to compliment the others on their beautiful, uplifting accounts.

As in past years, my diary is not for these 24 hours, but for the whole time of Ramadan this year that I have spent so far.

Why?

Mostly because what good work people pack in half a day, I do not go through in a month (or even a year :( )

Again, as usual I thought it would be different this time. I will live the spirit of Ramadan, and I will for sure get myself released from the Fire.

I live in Islamabad, the beautiful. Beautiful i.e. if you live, as I do, in one of the posh sectors, and do not venture onto the sectors that are run down. Although you can get a glimpse of the poverty from the beggars who congregate at Traffic Signals and Markets (we do not have Malls yet, in Islamabad), or ring your bell at the most inconvenient times.

I have learnt to shrug off this demonstration of our achievements. They are professional beggars, I tell myself.

This is Ramadan, and we are supposed to be extra generous. I know through experiences that if you give one person something, not only will he/she return frequently for more, but the word will spread, and whole tribes and communities will descend upon you for similar handouts. So, I will refuse to hand over any alms to individuals, and tell them I give only to institutions.

Only partially kept. I relent.

There are collectors from the institutions, too, but I only give to two of them.

Just before Ramadan, I attended the last 3 hours of a short course on Understanding Quran, and was really inspired by it, so I thought I would learn Quranic Arabic this way during Ramadan.  I will read the whole of the Quran. I will read its translations and the meanings. I will offer Taraweeh the whole month. I will offer eight rakaah as taraweeh, but stay in the masjid to listen to the whole of the Quran. I will do dhikr. I will mend broken relationships. I will be the epitome of patience and tolerance.

I haven't kept those resolutions. I started reading the Quran; then decided I was too tired and sleepy to re-start it from the beginning. So I did it from the last bookmark that I had set months ago. Even then the progress is very slow. I tried the course on Quranic Arabic. It was beneficial, but I haven't progressed beyond four lessons, as I am not regular. And since I haven't practiced what I learnt, I have forgotten it. I cannot find anyone else to participate, and this course is far, far better in a group than alone.

I did start the Taraweeh at the local  mosque, not the tent masjid of the past years. That is a big improvement. The qari's recitation is very good, indeed. I offer eight taraweeh, and then leave the jamaat, offering witr in a separate corner. Here, too, I have missed some nights with Jammah, although I do enjoy when I have been able to join the Taraweeh in jamaah. Many words in Urdu have Arabic roots, so if the qari is reciting really slowly, I can follow some. Learning the simple grammar through understandquran.org method has helped a lot, too.

In my interaction with people, the spirit of Ramadan has been sadly lacking.  I have told off quite a few people this year.

My wife is unhappy with me, unjustifiably in my male opinion. But I cannot see a way to make her happy.

Women need recognition of the sacrifices they make. I have not learnt how to convey that recognition. A ex-colleague once told me about his tired wife, but "if they get love, they continue to go on with life", he said.

I love my wife. I have zero choice there; she is the only one I have :), but how do I convey to her my appreciation?

She is overworked, and she likes things done according to plan and on schedule with a perfection. I, on the other hand, am an easy going person. I neither like having to working hard myself, nor expect others to do so. In fact, if I see people working hard, I think of ways of easing this, seldom by sharing the work. Instead I try to think of reducing their workload, including automation if possible. I do get involved in my projects or my reading, and may overwork myself, but that is totally voluntary. I prefer to live an unscheduled life. Retirement is freedom, in my dictionary. One doesn't have to get ready early and go to office. Although I love eating good food, I have no desire to learn to prepare it myself, nor will I ask anyone to take the trouble. If I am offered good food, well and good. If not, I will buy bread from the market and rig up something from the leftovers. I cannot do sweeping and dusting. I am allergic to many things, and while I do want a clean house, I do not expect my wife to keep it sparkling. We can hire help, although there is a snag. Day help is useless as my wife is away, and helpers do need a great deal of supervision. So my wife doesn't want a hired help.

Of late, we have a young christian boy as a servant. Exploiting child labour, you will say disapprovingly, and you will say so with ample justification. His family seeks money, and he hasn't had any education so far. I bought him some books and am trying to make him a little literate, at least. Not much success. I am too easy-going here as well. I do so wish he would accept the light of Islam.

I am not exactly useless, maybe I am just lazy. When it is not ramadan, I toast slices and prepare tea for my daughter, our servant and my mother in law who lives with us and cannot fast. I warm up the lunch for the M-i-L and the servant. I do dishes (when my wife isn't there, or allows me and when we do not have a servant. I can wash my clothes in the washing machine, although I do not like ironing them. I can wear unironed clothes without feeling embarassed, so my wife doesn't have to iron them, but she does. If the iron were light, I could even bring myself to do the ironing, but on the whole I would prefer to avoid that chore.

So how do I communicate appreciation of my wife's overworking herself?

Dhikr? Little, very little. So much time, and I have whittled it all away. I sleep, I read the paper, I watch the news. I offer the obligatory prayers. I fast, but that is about all. And I do not think I have made an effort to do these ibadah with any depth. Mostly, I sleep.

I have set up my mobile set alarms. 03:30. The alarm rings, or I am already up as I woke up fifteen minutes before the alarm goes off. I warm up a mug of water, and pour a tablespoon of honey in the warm water. Then drink it up. When I am having an omlette for sehri, I make a couple of slices of toasted bread. Remove excess oil from the frying pan, put the frying pan on the burner, rotating the pan to make sure all of its frying surface is covered with a ver thin sheet of oil. I beat an egg with green chillies and onions while the oil is warming, add some (OK, lots of) salt and some milk, and pour the mixture onto the hot frying pan. Then I gently shake the pan, and amazingly, the omlette does not stick to the pan, it pries itself loose in a circular shape. and I slide it over the toasted bread.

And I like it. Only done couple of times so far :). Most of the time, I ask our servant to make one or two small chapatis at night. For sehri, I warm it up in the microwave, and also warm up some shorba (curry), or some lentils, and then I eat these with often one, and sometime one and a half chapatis. Sometimes I will have a couple of toasted and buttered slices of bread with tea or lentil soup.

My wife is up at 3:45. She comes into the kitchen and prepares one chapati for my daughter. Sometimes she asks me if I want a fresh chapati. I say no. I do not want to burden her with any work myself. She puts the kettle on for tea, and fries one shami kebab for the daughter. Then between 4:00 and 4:15, either my wife or I wake up my daughter. During the eating I drink a glass of water. I finish off my sehri with a mug of tea. Then I fill up the water glass again, take a sip, and go brush my teeth and make wuddu. All in all, I will have between three or four glasses of water, and a mug of tea. My wife will have a couple of biscuits or one slice of bread for sheri, with tea of course.

4:35, and the adhan is clear. I am ready. I offer Fajr, mostly in a room on the first floor. I had thought I would say my prayers with jamaa, but one excuse or the other has kept me away. After this I do some masnoon dhikr for dawn and dusk. Then I try to read the Quran. Mostly I get sleepy so I lie down. Come downstairs to see if the newspaper has arrived. My wife gets ready and goes to her hospital at around 6:45. The second alarm goes off at 6:50. I sort things out, and at 7:00 am I will wake up my daughter (or at least try to). She finds it difficult each passing day. I will get the paper and read it.

Today the big news is that Mohtrama (Benazir Bhutto) and others who were accused of various cases of corruption and fraud from 1986 to 1999, will go scott free. The cases will be withdrawn. Billions were stolen, billions spent on investigations into National Accountability Bureau, and now all that will be undone in the name of National Reconciliation.

Such is the nature of Power Politics, whether played by a commando general, or a politician. All while the masses rot in misery, and honesty gets scarcer and scarcer.

More dunya!

I look at the cartoons.

During weekdays: Monday to friday, I may get lost in the news, then realise it is 7:10 or 7:15, and go to wake my daughter up again. At 7:30, her office transport comes to pick her up, and I run outside to tell the driver to please wait a while. My daughter comes out and I see her off.

Then I will lie down again, go take a stroll around the house, read some Quran, wake up the servant. He is only a child, so I have to cater to his breakfast. I will prepare his breakfast, and when he comes, he will have it in the kitchen. He pranks about a lot, as he finds I am not to be feared, but he doesn't argue with my wife.

After his breakfast, he is set to do some light cleaning, during which he will come often to me and disturb me, so I have to tell him to leave me alone. After he has done some work, he comes to me and says he wants to see Cartoon Network on the TV. Initially I had allowed him to watch TV on his own, and he started watching Indian movies all the time, and would often have the volume up a lot. On placing some restrictions: (He is only allowed to watch Cartoons, and not allowed to use the remote) I found that he was still not abiding by the rules, so I have taken away some of his priviliges. Now he as to ask me, and I will put on the Cartoon channel for him. This is working, altough he is still addicted to the TV.

I tell him to bring the homework. He has often not completed it. Whatever he does, is at his pleasure. I do not punish him here. He is not interested in learning the letters - more so in drawing and coloring.

Today, 6th October is a Saturday. Saturdays and Sundays are different. The wife and daughter have the office off, so they can sleep in late. I let the servant sleep too, so that he does not make any noise. Lunch for him and the MiL can be taken care of by either my wife, or me. I have less access to the internet when my daughter is home, as she has taken over her brother and bhabi's room, with the computer and the cable-net connection.

M-i-L wakens and offers her chaasht (what is it called in Arabic?). In the meantime I have placed a mug of milk and a loaf of bread for her near the microwave and the toaster. When she is done with her prayers, she will come to the kitchen and prepare her breakfast which will be a slice of bread and Complan with warm milk.

For now I am free. If I have bills to pay, some groceries to get, or feel like visiting my sister, I will take the car out, and get these things done. When I am back, the servant is at me. He is bored, there being no children in my house, and little work for him. I asked him to clean up the lawn, and he said it was the task of the gardener. How much do I pay the gardener? If I pay that much more, he will do it. I told him, his job is not to watch TV. Whatever task I set him is his job. At this he has obeyed, but did repeat the complaint a couple of days later. Maybe if he does it again, I will send him back to his family.

Many days of this Ramadan have been wasted in working out the tax and assets returns for me, wife and daughter. The tax adviser has been put off by me, and has declared it is my responsibilty to defend what I have decided, as he is only concerned with getting the returns buried, while I had wanted to file one that is as accurate as possible. I now realise upon reflection that the taxman will create problems by asking unnecessarily for documentation, and quite often one does not have the documents they will accept for everything one does. The police and the revenue department are the most corrupt, and people want to avoid them. So, this ramadan, it was even more worrying about the dunya than last years.

What does that mean? As I have to spend more and more time in sorting out my dunya, and instead have become even more entangled. What does this show?

Alas, I know the answer only too well. That Allah (swt) is not pleased with me. I go round and round in circles. I waste more and more time. If Allah were pleased with me, I wouldn't waste my time like this. There is a Hadithe Qudsi that goes something like: "O son of Adam, if you make your desire in line with my desires, I will fulfil all your needs, and if your desires run contrary to mine, I will make you chase your desires."

A Sahabi gave up his blooming fruit orchard because of a fleeting thought about it during Salaah.

Why can I not give up chasing this dunya? I thought retirement would bring me the leisure to read and try to understand the Quran and the Hadith, and allow me to practice it with more commitment.

alaa bedhikrilahi tatmaennul quloob!
Verily, in the rememberance of Allah lies satisfaction of hearts.

Why don't I do Rememberance of Allah (swt).

Why don't I remember Him all the time?

Anyway, what is done is done. I pray to Allah (swt) to protect us all from all evil, here and in the Hereafter.

I need Allah's forgiveness. I need it more than anyone else. I am one of the oldest here. It is not a young body I have. My eyes are losing their abitity to see. The doctor wanted to check the retina but I haven't gone for it as it is ramadan. He wants to do some surgery. First if the retina is in very bad shape, he wants to strenghten it. I know that this will reduce the density of the light sensitive elements on the retina. Then he wants to realign the eyes. Then he will check the eyes again for prescribing lenses.

I never feared an operation before, but now I can see the risks involved, and I think it is better to live with what you have than to risk losing even that.

MiL listens to the Quran on tape. She cannot read or see well any more.

12:40, and the alarm goes off again. It is reminder for me to make preparations for zuhr. If I am out, I must conclude my tasks and come home. At 13:00, the adhan comes on the masjid loudspeaker. I offer my prayers, and then the servant is hovering around me aagin. He wants his lunch. I tell him to go make chapatis for himself and my MiL, while I see what is in the fridge. I take out what I think is suitable, but sometimes the servant says he wants something else, so I take out what he prefers, and warm it up in the microwave. I prepare the table for my MiL, and ask the servant to bring his plate, which I will fill.

The servant wants to fast, too, but it would be more work for me and congestion in the kitchen at the crucial time of suhoor, so I have said if he were a Muslim, I would let him. In any case, I told him his fasting is easy: all he has to do is to say he will not eat any meat today, and he will be fasting. At this he tried to convince me that his fast is like ours. Nothing doing: become a Muslim, and I will let you fast. Not otherwise.

I say the Zuhr, and warm up the curry and the lentils for MiL and the servant's lunch.

It seems many in my circle have noticed and feel the lack of spirituality this Ramadan. Something has happened to society.

At about 14:00, I start feeling drowsy again, and go to sleep. The others will sleep, too. The wife will wake up with the Asr adhan, while my Asr alarm will go off at 15:50. Between 16:00 and 16:30, I will offer the asr, unless I have set the mobile to silent mode. Naturally then the alarm bell does not ring, and I may miss early asr.

After asr, the wife does some reading of the Quran, and starts preparations for Iftar.

Iftar is a date (with almond inside for me). Roohe Afza for others, plain water for me. A fair amount of pakoras. Maghrib prayers.

Then fruit chat and tea. Sometimes a samosa or a spring/chicken roll or kabuli chanas or occassionally mangochis sent by my sister.

The servant and MiL will have a full meal. The servant does the cleaning up. The wife reads the Quran.

19:00, and I start gettig ready for isha. 19:15, and I am off to the masjid. I offer tahayyatul Masjid (two rakahs). 19:30, and the muadhdhen calls the faithful to Salaah. After the isha Salah, I offer two rakaah sunnah, and then the taraweeh starts. After eight rakahs of taraweeh, I find a quiet side, and offer the witr, while the others are saying the remaining taraweeh. Home, and I tell the servant to go to sleep. Sometimes he has been watching cartoons.

I pick up a book on understanding Quran and go to bed when I get sleepy, which often is soon after I have picked up th book.

Eid is next Saturday or Sunday here. Very little time left.

Allahumma innaka 3afuwwun, tuhibul 3afwa, fa3afu anni

Anonymous



Disclaimer:


I'm a terrible writer so if you haven't had your Qailoolah yet, now would be a good time to read it.

Pre Ramadan,


      Well it's that time of the year again. Excitement is building and everyone is suffering from a pleasant Ramadan shock. "Is it Ramadan already?" are the words I hear echoing over and over again.

      Caught unprepared, they mentally prepare themselves as fast as they can. The young folk excited about the prospect of yummy iftars at the Masjid and iftar outings while the older fellas happy to be given another chance to be given the chance to get more rewards. Of course this is a fairly generalized statement and it could be vice versa.

      Overall Ramadan started on a happy note with a minimal of moonfighting and the general tone of the month is "Alhamdulillah it's Ramadan!" =0)

The first few days,

      On the day prior to Ramadan I had a meeting at work (I work at a CPA firm which also does the accounting for our local Masjid). They were talking about how to set up a station where people could donate using a credit card. I was set in charge of the station with another Board of Trustees member of the Masjid.

      Work was the same ol' same ol' kind of deal. I biked to work most days but drove for a few days also. I drove on the first day because I had to get some new tires for the car. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful.

      At the Masjid, excitement was in the air as the people got ready for their first Taraweeh. I would man the donations station and then pray Isha. Then after the 8th rakah of Taraweeh (it went all the way to 20 with a break after 8), I would man the station again. The credit card transactions were processed through the Internet and we had some fancy receipt printers and Cr. Card scanners to process the cards. I often astonished the donors through processing the transaction so quickly. They were used to it being done manually through a prehistoric standard credit card machine.

      The next few days were fairly miserable for me. I had caught the flu but I was still thankful as I typically catch the flu during the end of Ramadan, which overlapped into Eid.

      A lot of things change during Ramadan. The biggest of which, Ramadan brought all the hibernating Muslims out of the woodwork and into the Masajid. I was astonished to find the Masjid filled during Fajr on the first day of Ramadan. The numbers eventually dwindled but they were still more significant than a typical non-Ramadan day.

      Overall, Ramadan started with a bang.

Exercise in Ramadan,


      It's surprising that some people consider exercise difficult during Ramadan. Being employed in a sedentary desk job as an accountant, cycling is my primary form of transportation and an unusually effect way of relieving stress. I take the car sometimes but very rarely. Why? Well for one thing, it's pure torture. I sit in the drivers seat as sedentary as one can get while the blood courses lazily through my veins and my heart beats lazily giving a yawn or two, while my brain (nafs) makes me acutely and uncomfortably aware of that empty pit in my stomach and the nagging pain of hunger.

      Biking (being a whole different feeling altogether) makes my blood rage across my body like some angry seas in a thunder storm while my heart works overtime, energetically intent on pumping blood to satiate my bodies' thirst for oxygen. My brain meanwhile is too busy keeping me constantly alert in the act of look out for homicidal 18-wheelers and watching out for potholes that it has no time to nag me about how hungry I am. Do you need any other reason?

Fundraising during Ramadan,

      This Ramadan our Masjid did three fundraisers. Two for the final stage of renovation of our Masjid and one was for an international relief fundraiser that they raised for the poorest people in chosen countries so they could celebrate Eid. This is an exiting time for the kids as they get to help out. First we get a speaker to give a motivating speech and then the speaker goes through the task of delicately separating cash from people's bank accounts (which is no easy task).

      While the speaker is going about his task, I'm a busy giving donation envelopes to the kids who are bursting with importance while accepting the stacks of envelopes with quiet dignity befitting their importance.

      During the second fundraiser the BoT fella that works with me in getting the donations in, mumbles something about needing to get hold of a good rich brother and separating about $100k from that guy's bank account (something he happens to be quite good at). There isn't a Ramadan in our Masjid without some sort of good fundraiser or other (we want everyone to share in the Ajr right?).
The Last 10 Days,

      The last 10 days of Ramadan is where the majority of the action is at. Motivational speeches increase in volume, normal sahoors and iftars miraculously turn into Biriyani and four course meals, more people attend Taraweeh prayers in greater volume than ever before and the Masjid gets littered with sleeping bags and the snores mixed with the silent murmurings of the Qur'an being recited by the I'tikaf attendees during the night. Usually after the 8th rakah of Taraweeh they also serve tea and Gulab Jamun for those who are looking for an extra appetizer after stuffing themselves at iftar.

      Over all it is the atmosphere of Muslims eager to take advantage of the last few days of Ramadan hoping to catch Lailatul Qadr in one of the odd nights. Yesterday night the Sh. Lead us in Salatul Tasbih. Ramadan Mubarak! =0)

      May all our Ramadans and good deeds be accepted.

A Muslim
This post submitted using the ANONYMOUS button on the main Madina menu. Please reply here publically so that they can read any replies.

Halima

 [bismillah]

Nairobi, Kenya, East Africa – Ramadan 28, 1428 (October 10, 2007)

RAMADAN STARTS ON A POSITIVE NOTE

Ramadan 1428 started on a positive note for Kenyan Muslims because the whole country started it on the same day, Thursday, 13 September 2007. In previous years, Kenyan Muslims started the fast on two or even three different days.  And Eid was also celebrated in the same way.  Hence, you can imagine the joy of Muslims all over the country that we agreed for once on which day to start Ramadan.  There were sighs of relief and jubilation.  The Chief Kadhi announced it as early as 9:00 p.m. on Radio and appeared on one of the local TV channels for the same.  Before, people would wait till midnight for the announcement from the Chief Kadhi.

WAR ON TERROR AND THE PLIGHT OF KENYAN MUSLIMS

My Ramadan Diary this year will touch on the status of Kenyan Muslims and their plight in these difficult times for Muslims the world over because of what is now termed as Islamic/Muslim Terrorism by the Western World.  I am doing this in particular so that our Brothers and Sisters outside Kenya will realize that no matter where Muslims are, they face the same problems in relation to the war on terror.

Kenyan Muslims have experienced and continue to experience the brunt of the war on terror ever since the terrorist attacks on the US Embassy on August 7, 1998 here in Nairobi and Dar es Salaam, Tanzania and the attack on an Israeli Hotel and Charter Jet in Mombasa, Kenya in 2002.  Many families have had their sons taken from their homes without proof, jailed or taken out of the country never to be seen again.  Some families believe that their sons were taken Guantanamo Bay, especially for those captured in Mombasa.  Efforts to engage the Kenyan Government for help have been thwarted by the same government. A number of Muslim men were arrested in relation to the Israeli Hotel bombing in Mombasa.

The situation in Somalia has compounded the problem, especially since Kenya shares a border and a coastline with Somalia.  There have been deportations of Kenyans to Somalia or Ethiopia, harassment at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport, Nairobi where a Sheikh traveling abroad was stopped, detained and later released due to mistaken identity.

Until the bombing of the US embassies here in Nairobi and Dar es Salaam, I didn't know there was an Osama Bin Laden.  It was the first time I heard of the name and got to know all about him and Al-Qaeda.

http://www.islamkenya.com/html/currentissue_1.html

http://www.islamkenya.com/html/currentissue_4.html

KENYAN MUSLIM RIGHTS

For a long time now, the rights of Kenyan Muslims as citizens have been abused by the government of the day.  Muslims have been treated as second class citizens.  The government pays lip service to Muslim rights when it suits its agenda.  This is an election year in Kenya, in that a General Election – Presidency, Parliamentaru and Civic Seats are to be filled at the end of December 2007.  Kenyans go to the polls to elect their leaders for these positions every five years, in the month of December.

In December 2002, Kenyans went to the polls and removed former President Daniel Arap Moi from power after 24 years.  The power of the people in casting their votes ended the Moi era with a dramatic ouster.  These made many Kenyans realize the power they have through the ballot come election time.  The scramble for votes and election campaign fever has already been ignited by those seeking office in 2008.  Now, Muslims Leaders are calling to Muslims to mobilize themselves and exercise their voting rights and choose leaders who will address their issues honestly and clearly.

Percentage of the Kenyan Muslim population is now 30% according to a Kenyan Islamic Website run by the Jamia Masjid, Nairobi.  And because of the call of the Muslim Leaders, the incumbent President is making all sorts of promises to Muslims and has even gone as far as forming a Committee on Muslims which is truly ridiculous.  But Muslims are being urged to vote otherwise.  Some Muslims Leaders are urging Muslims to vote as a block for one opposition candidate (there are 3 Presidential Candidates for this year's election). While others like the Supreme Council of Kenyan Muslims is urging Muslims to exercise their individual rights in voting for the candidate of their choice while keeping in mind their quest for a just government that treats its citizens equally. This time round, Muslims are tied of the double standards applied to them.  The mood is for another change and Muslims countrywide are getting educated on their rights before the general election by their leaders through Radio, TV and the Print Media in all the languages spoken in Kenya.  Kenyans comprise of 42 tribes and there are Muslims in each of these tribes.  The predominantly Muslims areas are the Coast Province and the North Eastern Province. Kenya has 8 provinces. UNITED WE STAND!  MAY ALLAH SWT UNITE US! AMEEN.

http://www.islamkenya.com/html/voting_rights.html

http://www.islamkenya.com/html/Xcountry_demo.html

FRIDAY BULLETIN

A weekly Muslim News Update by the name Friday Bulletin is published every Friday by the Jamia Masjid Committee, Nairobi and distributed free of charge during the Friday Salat at the Masjid.  Issues affecting Muslims are covered in this bulletin as well Islamic Rulings on things such as Fitr, Zakat, etc.  Developmental issues are also addressed.

http://www.islamkenya.com/bulletin/FridayBulletin232.pdf

RAMADAN CHARITY

Several places within Nairobi have been designated as distribution centres for the less fortunate Muslims.  Everyday, food stuff is given to those who are in need.  This is the initiative of those Muslims who are fortunate enough and are willing to share with their Muslims Sisters and Brothers.  All Masjids offer Iftar to those who do not have a place to break their fast.  And as Ramadan is coming to a close, Zakat-ul-Fitr is being distributed.  Some people start as early as the last week of Ramadan while others wait till one or two days before Eid.

Of course Ramadan will not really be Ramadan without having people other than your family breaking fast at your home. Every year, my household is blessed with Muslims who need a place to break their fast.  The number fluctuates every year.  This year, we have 3 young men who have been breaking their fast with us every day.

During and after iftar, there are Muslims (both men and women) who walk from house to house asking for Sadaqa (charity) in terms of food or money, some ladies carrying small children on their backs.  Some are children between the ages of 10-15 who are looking for food.  And as there is plenty of food in assorted varieties during Iftar, they get more than enough for themselves with something more to take home.  This goes on during the whole month of Ramadan.

SUHUR

Waking up for Suhur is just difficult for the youngsters, especially during school days.  It takes a whole half hour for them to properly wake up.  Hence we have something called the Suhur War.  They still want their Suhur because first, school activities zap their energy faster during the day and second they need Suhur anyway.  So, I vowed to let them miss Suhur one night to teach them a lesson in waking up on time.  I did carry out my threat.  They fasted but came home looking forlorn and tired.  I asked them how they are after coming back from school.  Ismail answered: "Aunty, my battery is not only low but almost down".  He used the language of mobile phone charging!  I burst into laughter and told them that, that is what they get for not waking up on time.  Since then, they have been having their Suhur on time, waking up immediately they are woken.

There are 4 children (youngsters) staying with me, one is my niece, Halima (my brother's younger daughter who is also named after me), Zahra , Abdifatah and Ismail who are children of a friend of mine from Mogadishu, Somalia.  Haroun who is my younger son makes the number 5.  Four of them (my friend's two sons, my niece and Haroun) attend school and they fast as well. My eldest son, Mahad, is in Toronto attending the University of Toronto. 

TARAWEH AND TAHAJUD

In my 2005 Ramadan Diary, I mentioned that my residence is surrounded by six Masjids and Adhan (Azan) is heard from all six during each Salat Time.  Now, imagine hearing and listening to Taraweh and Tahajud Salats simultaneously from all these Masjids!  ALLAHU AKBAR.  Your heart and spirit are uplifted and there is no other thought in my mind except ALLAH, our BELOVED RASULLAH, your gratitude for being A MUSLIM and knowing that there is LIFE after DEATH and your AMAL (Deeds) is what awaits you in the hereafter.

Taraweh direct from Makkah on Iqra TV through satellite. Watching and listening to Taraweh LIVE from Makkah is something else I enjoyed a lot.  My favourite Sheikh is Abdulrahman Al-Shuraim.  And seeing him live conducting the Taraweh Salat crowns it all.  The beauty of the live Taraweh from Makkah is the English translation of every Surah recited.  And the DUA before the last Rakat of Witr – is exceptional, MASHA-ALLAH. I didn't perform Taraweh this Ramadan except for one night due to lack of strength in my limbs.  That one night was agony.  ALLAHMDU LILLAH, I thank ALLAH for both SMALL and BIG MERCIES. 

ISLAMIC PROGRAMMES

Peace TV's Dr. Zakir Naik is a pleasure to watch.  Every day at 4:30 (16:30) p.m. (which is the same time in Saudi Arabia as here in Nairobi) I watch a programme of his titled: Ramadan, a Date with Dr. Zakir Naik, hosted by Yusuf Chambers.  ALLAHU AKBAR!  Every day, I learn something new.  One of the topics he covered was marriage during Ramadan.  In all honesty, I have never known or heard of anyone getting married during Ramadan.  The programme is about the dos and don'ts during Ramadan.  And Dr. Zakir finally said it would be better to wait till after Ramadan to get married.

Dr. Zakir also pointed out how we have become so mechanical in performing Salat.  He said if you woke a Muslim from a deep sleep and asked him or her to recite Surah Fatiha, he or she will recite it to you in the speed of 180 Kilometres Per Hour (KPH).  He said most of us do not perform Salat in its proper requirement because we do not concentrate on the Salat but have other things on our mind at the same time we are performing Salat.  He gave the example of a housewife who in the process of performing her Salat, she is thinking of what to cook for her husband at the same time, is Pilau or Biryani?  He said men also concentrate on things other than the Salat itself.  He urged Muslims to concentrate on the Salat by thinking of the meaning of the Surah one is reciting at the time.  If you don't know the meaning of the Surah in Arabic, then try to remember it in English or your mother tongue if the Holy Qu'ran is translated in it.  That way, you perform Salat in accordance with its requirement.

NASHEEDS

I particularly enjoy Sami Yusuf and one of his that is my favourite is Ya Rasulullah.  His Nasheeds are wonderful.

A BIRTH AND A DEATH

My sister gave birth to a baby girl in London on Ramadan 13, 1428 (September 25, 2007).  This is her third child as she already had two sons – Khalid and Anwar.  She and her husband gave their daughter the name Najma.

We lost a dear and precious family friend on Ramadan 25, 1428 (October 7, 2007).  She was an old lady who had a heart of gold and was loved by everyone.  She supported many people during her life time in one way or the other.  She left behind a daughter, 3 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren.  INA LILLAHI WA INA LILLAHI RAJIOUN.  May ALLH SWT reward her in JANNAT-UL-FIRDOWSA. AMEEN.

ISLAM AND MUSLIMS IN KENYA

To learn more about Islam and Muslims in Kenya, please visit: www.islamkenya.com
which is run by the Jamia Masjid, Nairobi.  Navigate through the various links provided to learn about Islam in Kenya, the Jamia Masjid itself, view the images of Jamia Masjid which is there on the website.  There is a wealth of information on the site for those who are keen to broaden their knowledge of Muslims in Kenya.

Last but not least, I pray that we celebrate Eid together, on the same day as we started Ramadan.  Ameen.

Maasalaama Ramadan and May ALLAH SWT accept our Saum and give us the chance to experience it again.  Ameen.

Halima

The Almighty Allah says,
"When a servant thinks of Me, I am near.
When he invokes Me, I am with him.
If he reflects on Me in secret, I reply in secret,
And if he acknowledges Me in an assembly,
I acknowledge him in a far superior assembly."

-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Abu Huraira

Jannah

Bismillahir Rahman hirRaheem assalaatus salaam ala habeebuna wa oswatana, rasulullah salalllahu alayhi wa salam, wa ala aalihi, wa sahbahi wa salam. Amma ba'ad...

A trip to Umrah is beautiful spiritual enlightenment and wonder, ease and learning and experiencing new things. A trip to Hajj is spiritual struggle, physical difficulty, hardships, and cleansing, so much so -- that when you're done, you're born anew. I feel like my Ramadans alternate between these two. This year was of the latter.

This year one of my main goals was to finish the Quran during the month. I've read it in English and in Arabic but this time I wanted to read it both in Arabic and with the meaning, all during this month. I wanted to do it at least once in my life while I still could since I'm not working right now and hopefully had the time. And what a struggle it has been. I know some Arabs who read it two or three times throughout the month! I still can't figure out how they do that. Reading 1 juzz in Arabic and English takes me about 2 hours. And to find these two hours consistently, every day, consecutively throughout Ramadan on top of everything else has sure been a struggle. I've read the Quran at midnight, 4am, 7am, 1pm, 6pm, every time, sitting on a stoop, driving to NYC, going apple picking, in an eyeglass place lobby, every weird strange place you can imagine. I personally did not *want* to be reading like that but in order to make sure to complete a juzz a day, it ended up like that. 

After reading the whole Quran (I have only 1 juzz left juzz amma the last one for tonight, the last night of Ramadan woo hoo!) I have a few observations.

First now that I know some Arabic and can truly understand the beauty of some Arabic linguistics I'm simply astounded by the beauty and breadth of the Quran. As a document it's just amazing. It covers almost every topic generally or specifically, and gives us examples and parables and is as deep as poetry yet as simple as something you would explain to a child.

Right in the beginning of the Quran there's a challenge: "And if you are in doubt as to what We have revealed ... then produce a Surah like thereunto; and call your witnesses or helpers..."

I remember a number of years ago pre 9/11 when a few sites popped up with the name "a surah like it" saying they were meeting the challenge. But then when you clicked on it, their Surah went like this: "In the name of Christ, the giving, compassionate. Thanks and praise be to the Messiah...etc.. etc..."  Is it creating a Surah like it if you take the Quran and replace God with Christ and Messiah! The other stuff was pretty laughable too. It didn't quite have the venom of missionary sites today and eventually the sites disappeared after offending a lot of Muslims but I still remember their poor attempts.

I'll say it here and now even though the Quran does not need any defending. It just can't be done. The Quran is just amazing from beginning to end. It's been a document of guidance, of social order, of law, of ethics, of history, of personal solace and spiritual awareness for BILLIONS of people for fourteen CENTURIES. Empires and nations have been created based upon it. Translators spend their entire lifetime just trying to approach a translation of it in their own language. People have taken phrases from it and have decorated everything from Taj Mahals to golden vases with it. I mean come on. And you're telling me a single human being in the deserts of Arabia in the 6th century wrote this?

It's just not possible. It's certainly divine and it was nice to go through this month and when I read something beautiful or amazing or wonderful, clever, educational or reaffirming, in tears or in laughter or pondering something deeply touching, I'd shake my head in wonder at people who think these are words humans could have made up? I mean haven't they read Rumi? Or Shakespeare? Arguably the best poets in the world? Now that is amazing poetry, but it still doesn't come close to touching the Quran, not to mention finding the best jurist, or the best historian or the best Arabic grammarian etc. 

The second thing that amazed me is that everything the Quran is telling people IS GOOD!  The whole Quran is about doing good deeds, feeding the poor, sheltering the orphans, respecting women, helping those in need, standing up to oppressors, doing good in this world, not hoarding wealth, giving to the needy, fasting, controlling one's base desires, helping travelers, praying to God, relying on Him, being modest, not doing anything evil or mean, not being arrogant or greedy. It's ALL good things. Good things considered good UNIVERSALLY. Over and over and over again. Every prophet story, every parable, ever sentence and verse is about making us do good and bringing us good. Even in the things the media or Islam haters keep trying to bring up, the Quran is a voice of guidance and moderation and peace. And yet there is so much hate out there for Islam! Why? Look no one said you have to follow the Quran and be a good person, but why hate Islam and Muslims so much? Why are there so many attacks on Islam? From the pope, to our local papers, to blogs, to Danish cartoons, to talk radio-hosts, to "fake apostates-unite" websites, to missionaries? And I *know* it's not about terrorism or whatever other excuses they give. They don't even include intellectual or theological arguments anymore, it's all about Islamophobia, sensationalism, trying to bash Islam with bin-laden or terrorism, stuff that has NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

There is a reason. The closest I can put my finger on it is that it's fear. Fear that they'll have to stop what they're doing and listen to God, fear that they'll have to change their selfish lifestyles or make decisions that are for the greater good instead of themselves. Just fear of having to do good. There can't be any other reason because the Quran's whole message is about doing good.

I really like the people who are honest and just say, 'I can't become Muslim cuz I love pork' or 'I can't do all these things like pray 5 times a day or give money' or 'I don't like Islam because it's all about deeds, I think people should just believe and be saved.' Now that is honest, that is a valid objection and I like that. Not the usual lies and propaganda that are included in the attacks on Islam, Muslims and the Quran these days.

Third, the thing that struck me about the Quran is that while it is unequal in it's beautiful dialog, ethics, principles, stories, ideas, etc. there is just no way an Angel could have come and dropped this on us and we become practicing Muslims of today. There had to be a messenger that receives divine guidance to explain and live all of these principles and practices and put them together for us. AND live in a community of people who lived all this and were examples for us. Without this with just the Quran being handed to us, how would we even begin to know how to pray? What would we do if we forgot a rakat? How do we do Hajj? How do we fast? What do we do if we forget and eat? How do we understand some of these verses? The Quran is unparallel, but we are human. And we needed a Messenger. 'Quran-only' pushers are deluded. Seriously deluded. I've heard some say "I'll follow that if you can show me where it is in the Quran." I often want to ask them if they've EVER read the Quran? It's not a document that is going to detail every person's strict daily actions and tell them in October 2007 this is how you are going to this exact action. To say we don't need the Sunnah is like saying the Quran is not divine, because they're asking for it to be the Sunnah. What a paradox!

Anyway I learned a lot from reading the Quran this month even though I found it hard time-wise. I recommend every Muslim to do this at least once in their life. Make intention inshaAllah for next Ramadan if you can and may Allah reward you all with the best of good.

May Allah make the Quran the Spring of your heart, the light of your breast, the dispeller of your sorrows, the eraser of your anxieties and a departure for your worries. Ameen


Wasalaam alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuhu.


Say: "If all mankind and all invisible beings would come together with a view to producing the like of this Qur'an, they could not produce its like even though they were to exert all their strength in aiding one another!" 17:88

Now this Qur'an could not possibly have been devised by anyone save God: nay indeed, it confirms the truth of whatever there still remains [of earlier revelations] and clearly spells out the revelation [which comes] -let there be no doubt about it-from the Sustainer of all the worlds. 10:37

For, indeed, many facets have We given in this Qur'an to every kind of lesson [designed] for [the benefit of] mankind! 17:89

THUS, step by step, We bestow from on high through this Qur'an all that gives health [to the spirit] and is a grace unto those who believe [in Us], the while it only adds to the ruin of evildoers: 17:82

VERILY, this Qur'an shows the way to all that is most upright, and gives the believers who do good deeds the glad tiding that theirs will be a great reward; 17:9









shussein

Bismillaahirrahmaanirraheem,

Another end of ramadan. Another feeling of inadequacy. I didn't utilize ramadan's potentials to the max. I didn't prostrate and ask for forgiveness enough. I didn't strive and fight my nafs enough

Time flies. Starts meet ends ever so abruptly. I've always known a week before first day of ramadan that i would meet the last day of it as if it is in a blink of an eye

The khateeb mentioned on the first day of how foolish somebody who didn't use this great chance given by Allah, to redeem our sins while we're still in this dunya, instead of paying for them in the akhira, where one day equals 70 thousand days. We have to do more direct ibaadah rather than busy ourselves as usual with daily things, although with niyyah lillaahi ta'ala which will make them indirect ibaadah

But that's what i exactly am. A fool. Same as the previous years

It seems that no matter how i made the niyyah to do better in the first dawn of ramadan, i always end up doing so much less.. I tend to the daily chores, which seems a lot more than in any other months, and delay my qur'aan reading, my nawaafeels. Until it is too late

yaa ayyuhal insaanu innaka kaadihun ilaa rabbika kadhan fa mulaaqeeh
O man. Verily you are ever toiling on toward your Lord -painfully toiling- but you shall meet Him

Another end of ramadan, another feeling of inadequacy. But i'm thankful to still be given time, hopefully at least to the next ramadan. Still i'm thankful that i'm looking at the end of ramadan, not the end of my life. Where no more seconds would be added, for me to offer one more thing to balance my scale a bit to the right..

I guess i still have time now to gather the only things that seem to matter when they will be lowering me to the ground. When i will see how petty all those worldly pursuits were. All those arguments were. All those worries. All those angry feelings and dissatisfaction. How the only thing that keep me company in the darkness will only be the light of His mercy, that i have to pursue now. And the fruit of my struggle to do good deeds, to control my nafs

Maybe this is the meaning of this one ramadan to me. Another reminder.

That it is high time for me to do more sajdah. To find peace in the remembrance of Allah. To leave my worries and find an oasis in salahs. To learn and be patient from rak'ah to rak'ah, until i sincerely mean everything that i say to Allah azza wa jalla. To forget my dissatisfaction and be a good traveller in this dunya. Find my peace in the comfort of imaan and shukr, that i have to create in my heart

That it is high time for me to beat my nafs to the ground. To learn to see every twist and turn in life as something that Allah presents to me, to face in sabr and ikhlaas. To keep the awareness of patience and imaan, especially at times that i need them the most, in order not to be among those who are lost

To learn how to be patient in difficult situations where i have no control over. How to fight my nafs and try to understand people. To fight my nafs and try to help people. To fight my nafs and try the better ways to deal with people who always make bad decisions. To treat with rahmah even those people who just can't think right and fall into same problems over and over again then always come knocking at my door

To do what i have to do in my life only for the sake of Allah

To wade carefully through my life and treat each moment as a chance to make it better. Cuz the end is near

Ka annahum yawma yarawnahaa lam yalbathu illa 'ashiyyatan aw duhaahaa
The Day they see it, (It will be) as if they had tarried but a single evening, or (at most till) the following morn!

May we be among those who are always be given hidaya. May Allah swt. bless us with the realization of the true meaning of ramadan. And bless us with better deeds in the next ramadan, inshallah. Amin


*************************

sorry i couldnt keep my date, end of ramadan also means a lot more work of preparation, as you read above  ::)

Eid Mubarak Sa'eed to everybody!

[wlms]


Umm Youssef

Salam alaikum wa rahmatullah,

I was supposed to write my diary the 15th day of Ramadan, then found someone wrote on that day. "Too bad, I'll write later". Later... I was so sick, subhanallah. Terrible last 10 days. I could only pray my 5 prayers. Fasting was very hard but al-hamdolillah I missed only one day...

Deception. Regrets. All I can think of is, it's too late. Alah has wanted me to miss Laylatul Qadr. To miss my last ten days. For a reason only Him, subhna wa taala knows. I didn't deserved what those days had to offer. All I did was sleeping, sneezing, coughing... La ilaha illa Allah.

I'm now weak, sad, helpless. Ramadan is gone and I feel guilty, even if I couldn't help it. I feel bad that I didn't make even small efforts to wake up at night. Ya Allah, I pray that I can do better next year...

I ask Allah for forgiveness, for you, for me, for all of us who wish they could be so much better... I pray for all of us, I pray Allah to be lenient, to give us 'another chance'... ya al'Affuw, ya ar-Rahman... Ameen...

Wassalam alaikum
Umm Youssef

Quick Reply

Warning: this topic has not been posted in for at least 120 days.
Unless you're sure you want to reply, please consider starting a new topic.

Note: this post will not display until it has been approved by a moderator.

Name:
Verification:
Please leave this box empty:
Type the letters shown in the picture
Listen to the letters / Request another image

Type the letters shown in the picture:
Shortcuts: ALT+S post or ALT+P preview